Once You Get Past The Smell

My Brother-in-Law John watches many hours of news each day on television. The other day, as I was passing through the sunroom, he tells me that they have captured a Bigfoot. Therefore I go to the WWW to see what this is all about.

The story that I read said that some guys in Georgia bagged a Bigfoot and were keeping in a freezer. There weren’t too many details.

I immediately conjured up, in my mind, the following scenario. Two good ole boys were walking in the woods with their hunting dogs and shotguns when they see what appears to be a bear. The dogs are going ballistic, shotguns are raised, and the bear is shot and falls to the ground. Clem and Rufus then discover that “this ain’t no bear”. “What the hell is that thang?” sez Clem. Rufus sez “I don’t rightly know, let’s take it home and put it in the freezer.”

When I just stationed in Africa I had a roommate named Jack Lapseritis. Jack was very intelligent but a little off center in his thinking. He planned to stay at Kagnew Station until his discharge and then go on to the Seychelles Islands in the Indian Ocean to Scuba.
And then on to the Himalayas to search for a Yeti.

About 7 years ago I Googled Jack’s name (I was trying to find him to invite him to one of our reunions) and was not shocked at the results. Jack had written a book named The Psychic Sasquatch and Their UFO Connection. He tours the country giving lectures about the existence of Bigfoot, saying that they were brought to Earth by Aliens.

Jack was even on the “Howard Stern Show” where he admitted to having sex with one of these creatures (he said that she stank, but was a pretty good lay - this reminded me of the old line "once you get past the smell"). Howard and Crew were going nuts with laughter at this point in the show.

Jack now calls himself Kewaunee, the name that the Sasquatch gave him (probably using the Vulcan Mind Meld).

I’m sure that Kewaunee is now on his way to Georgia to see if this is one of his old buddies. Good Luck, Jack.

The Beach Bum