Friday, September 19, 2008

A Matter of Life and Death

Late last night I took an online quiz. I enjoy taking quizzes and tests online as long as they are free and they don’t ask me for a lot of personal information.

The last online IQ test that I took (about 5 years ago) gave me a score of 143. That was 9 points lower than the last real IQ test that I had taken in 1973. But the real test was at least 16 pages long and the online test was about 56 questions long. It's like trying to compare Apples to Oranges!


The test that I took last night was not an IQ Test. It was a test that determined your real age. The questions were about health factors and lifestyle habits. As they don’t really know who I am, I answered all of the questions honestly.

The results were that my biological age was 12.8 years higher than my chronological age. I wish that I had taken the test years ago. I could have submitted the results to the Social Security Administration and started to draw benefits long before I actually did.

According to actuarial table for the life expectancy of the average United States Male, I died sometime last winter. But, of course, I’ve always considered myself to be above average.

In the spring of 2004 the learned Doctors at the VA Hospital in Saint Petersburg (Bay Pines), Florida gave me 2 to 3 years tops to live if I didn’t radically change my wicked ways and lifestyle. I didn’t, and by the grace of God I am still here to write this Blog.

As I have argued the point before with my Born Again Christian friends; God must love the sinners more than saints! Either that or the Devil is keeping me alive to make me suffer here on Earth before I go to Purgatory (remember, I was raised as a Catholic).

Either way, I’m not worried because I don’t believe in the Heaven/Hell concept.

The Beach Bum

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6 Comments:

Blogger alfredo_tomato said...

If dying was so bad, why haven't we heard any complaints?

My mom would complain about anything and everything. She's been dead for over a decade and I haven't heard a peep from her.

Live until you die, then report back if you can.

Wed Sep 24, 06:12:00 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

You remind me of a customer, now deceased, who had an unusual reply when you asked "How are you?"

He would say "Its another bonus day". I asked him to explain and he said his Dr told him that he had a year to live, "that was five years ago." "This is a bonus day because I'm not supposed to be here." I liked his attitude. He was a good man.

Thu Sep 25, 07:59:00 AM  
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