"The Boss" Will Love This!

Until this morning I had never heard of Amy Polumbo. Amy is a senior at Wagner College on Staten Island, New York. She is also the reigning Miss New Jersey, crowned on the 16th of June.

Amy was surprised that she won the title because it was only the second “Beauty Pageant” that she had entered. She had actually tripped on the stage during the evening gown competition. Very reminiscent of Gracie Hart (Sandra Bullock) “Miss New Jersey”, in the movie “Miss Congeniality”.

Why is this self-proclaimed "Proud Jersey Girl" in the news? It seems that she is now being blackmailed with some photos of her taken in the recent past. The Blackmailers want her to relinquish her crown and abdicate as the reigning “Miss New Jersey”, or they will publish the photos on the internet. I like seeing naked nubile women, especially if the hail from New Jersey.

However her attorney says that they are not nude photos. So I wonder what could be so bad that someone would think that Amy would back out of the “Miss America” contest to prevent these photos from being splashed across the internet. Is she kissing another woman? Or possibly worse yet, eating a live Goldfish or Toad. I’ll leave this to my imagination, which is very vivid. I smell a publicity stunt here. I may be wrong or I may be right. But I would have never known the name of Amy Polumbo, Miss New Jersey, hadn’t it been for this tidbit in the news.

Perhaps New Jersey’s Poet Laureate, the Boss, Bruce Springsteen will write a song about her. He’ll change her name to Sandy and put her on the Boardwalk in Asbury Park, where women aren’t afraid to flash their boobs, eat goldfish and act like real people; and not like cardboard replicas of their human form.

The Beach Bum