In Vino Veritas

My youngest daughter (who reads my Blog on a regular basis) told me that my Blog is full of spelling errors and improper word usage. When I asked her for an example she said “You used the word worst where you should have used the word worse.”

In a telephone conversation, an old friend from Chicago basically made the same comments. He said that I over punctuate, I misspell words (usually homonyms) and that my usage of grammar, in general, is borderline.

This embarrasses me because I have always prided myself on the proper use of the English language. I have corrected youngest daughter on her grammar too many time too count. And now she is correcting me. Turnabout is fair play!

She attributes it to my use of Vodka and my writing when I am “half in the bag”. In fact, she has cut me off of my Vodka and has instead put me on red wine to supplement my beer drinking habit. So now instead of being a drunk, I am becoming a wino.

I have always liked wine, especially red wine, but like Gin it tends to do strange things to me. Vodka does not take away my inhibitions. Gin and wine do. For example, a few nights ago, I was singing along with one of my favorite songs at 0130 hours. This, of course, woke my daughter. She admonished me and sent me off to bed.

Now if you have ever listened to me attempting to sing when I have been drinking wine, you’d know that this is not too appealing to the ear. I sound like a cross between Joe Cocker, Bob Dylan and a cat that has just had its tail caught in a mousetrap. When I was young I had a good baritone voice, but the years of alcohol abuse and cigarette smoking has made it very raspy. Add to this the fact that I am usually wearing headphones (at a full volume level) and cannot hear how bad I really sound; it becomes a nightmare for others.

So here I sit, nearing midnight, with 9 beers and nearly a half of a 1.5 liter bottle of cheap Merlot in my gullet; writing this piece and getting ready to sing again. I think my daughter will soon put me back on my daily Vodka ration, just to get me off of the wine.

Please forgive my misspellings and grammatical errors, as I am, as usual, half in the bag.

The Beach Bum