Sunday, February 11, 2007

Foot in Mouth

My Dad always told me that I had an innate ability to “put my foot into my mouth”. That it must be an inherent behavior because it was something that he hadn’t taught me.

Every time that I had “put my foot into my mouth”, Dad would tell me “Use your head for something more than a Hat Rack” and think before you speak.

This was good advice. Unfortunately, it was advice that I’ve never been able follow. I can’t help it; it’s just my nature to put my foot into my mouth. It’s my “tongue in cheek” style of conversing with others.

I did it again this past afternoon.

Out of the blue, a former lover and friend calls me. I haven’t spoken to her for two or three years, although we do email and IM occasionally.

We did the usual conversational pleasantries. She asks about my children and grandchildren, and I ask about her love life. She feigns by not hearing the question correctly and then begins humoring me, by telling me that I was the best lover in her life. I’d really like to believe this because I will honestly say that she was the best lover in my life. But that was 15 years ago and just a sexual thing. Being with her was a real hell on earth, yet heaven in the bedroom.

Without asking why she had called, I went on one of my diatribes about her choice in men, including me. Let me state, that she is a “drop dead” gorgeous woman 21 years younger than I. I always told her that she could do better than me. She finally believed me and left my humble abode 13 years ago.

At this point of our conversation my foot is shaking and demanding that I place it in my mouth.

Most of her former lovers were what I called low-lives. She always had bad judgment in her affairs of the heart, which includes me. She’s a natural Blonde, what else can I say?

Being that I am a person known to have very little tact, I then asked her if she was still seeing the (expletive deleted) (expletive deleted) that she was with 3 years ago. Big mistake! 5 seconds of silence on her end of the line. Open Mouth – Insert Foot!

She then explained that reason for her call was to tell me that she was getting married to this (expletive deleted) guy in March. They will be honeymooning at Disney World and had been thinking of visiting me here on the Beach.

Flabbergasted, I told her that I wasn’t into threesomes with guys. Click, end of conversation! I think that I may have lost a friend.

The Beach Bum

6 Comments:

Blogger oakleyses said...

oakley sunglasses, louis vuitton outlet, gucci outlet, michael kors outlet, louis vuitton outlet stores, burberry outlet, coach factory outlet, air max, oakley sunglasses cheap, michael kors outlet, tiffany and co, michael kors outlet, coach outlet, polo ralph lauren outlet, louis vuitton outlet, ray ban sunglasses, louboutin, prada handbags, true religion jeans, polo ralph lauren outlet, christian louboutin shoes, ray ban sunglasses, nike free, air max, longchamp outlet, louis vuitton handbags, michael kors outlet, michael kors outlet, prada outlet, michael kors outlet, louboutin, longchamp handbags, burberry outlet, jordan shoes, kate spade outlet, coach outlet store online, coach purses, nike shoes, oakley sunglasses, louis vuitton, louboutin outlet, true religion jeans, chanel handbags, kate spade handbags, tory burch outlet, longchamp handbags, tiffany and co

Fri Nov 21, 07:50:00 PM  
Blogger oakleyses said...

converse pas cher, ralph lauren, true religion outlet, michael kors pas cher, nike air max, nike blazer, north face, nike free pas cher, nike trainers, hollister, sac louis vuitton, polo lacoste, mulberry, polo ralph lauren, abercrombie and fitch, louis vuitton, barbour, nike roshe run, air force, sac burberry, sac hermes, sac guess, north face, air jordan, louis vuitton uk, nike tn, timberland, air max, ray ban sunglasses, hogan outlet, nike free, lululemon, louboutin, oakley pas cher, vans pas cher, air max, ray ban pas cher, sac louis vuitton, nike huarache, michael kors, vanessa bruno, nike roshe, true religion outlet, longchamp, hollister, michael kors, new balance pas cher, sac longchamp, air max pas cher

Fri Nov 21, 07:56:00 PM  
Blogger oakleyses said...

ghd, canada goose, beats by dre, uggs outlet, herve leger, mac cosmetics, ferragamo shoes, ugg pas cher, longchamp, canada goose outlet, bottega veneta, insanity workout, ugg, celine handbags, mcm handbags, valentino shoes, wedding dresses, canada goose jackets, reebok outlet, soccer jerseys, marc jacobs, mont blanc, ugg boots, hollister, uggs outlet, canada goose, instyler, canada goose, nfl jerseys, jimmy choo outlet, new balance shoes, p90x, north face jackets, north face outlet, chi flat iron, abercrombie and fitch, birkin bag, ugg boots, babyliss pro, nike roshe run, ugg boots, soccer shoes, rolex watches, lululemon outlet, asics running shoes, giuseppe zanotti, ugg australia, vans shoes

Fri Nov 21, 07:56:00 PM  
Blogger oakleyses said...

canada goose, thomas sabo, canada goose uk, hollister clothing store, pandora charms, parajumpers, juicy couture outlet, canada goose, pandora charms, juicy couture outlet, iphone 6 cases, hollister, toms shoes, moncler, timberland boots, rolex watches, moncler, karen millen, moncler, hollister, vans, louis vuitton, moncler, coach outlet store online, wedding dresses, supra shoes, moncler, converse, links of london, ugg, moncler, montre homme, gucci, converse shoes, swarovski crystal, air max, oakley, air max, ralph lauren, louboutin, swarovski, ugg, moncler outlet, ray ban, lancel, pandora jewelry, baseball bats

Fri Nov 21, 08:00:00 PM  
Blogger Hasnain Dill said...

Klebe BH | Brust-anhebenden Push-up Klebe BH wird von 3M hergestellt und eignet sich perfekt für trägerlose oder rückenfreie und strapless Kleidung.
Push Up Bra



Instant breast lifts provides high-quality instant breast lifts and gel petals. Don't get tricked in buying copycats. Buy 3M quality lift and gel petals.
Bra Tape

Tue Feb 03, 12:47:00 PM  
Blogger chenlina said...

chenlina20150827
red timberland boots
abercrombie & fitch
fake watches
cheap jerseys
michael kors
louis vuitton outlet
toms outlet store
celine
ugg slippers
ray ban glasses
nike roshe run mens
kate spade outlet
coach outlet online
imitation watches
fitflops
ray ban sunglass
adidas uk
coach factory outlet
burberry outlet
abercrombie and fitch outlet
oakley sunglasses
nfl jerseys
cheap jerseys
mcm outlet
louis vuitton handbags
michael kors outlet online
cheap ray bans
michael kors uk
adidas wings
christian louboutin outlet
toms shoes
air max 95
lebron shoes
louis vuitton outlet
michael kors outlet
prada uk
michael kors outlet online
gucci outlet online
louis vuitton handbags
coach outlet

Wed Aug 26, 03:30:00 AM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home