A Possible Solution
I have come up with a possible solution to our current economic woes. I read yesterday that we are now giving more money to bailout AIG. To say the least, I was not happy. I’m against all of the bailouts of banks and major financial Corporations.
The proponents of this action will tell us that this is good thing. People that have invested in the market and 401K plans are losing their retirement income. A friend, who is 65 years old, told me that he must keep working for at least another year because of a major drop in value of his 401K. He’ll work until he drops, because he loves what he is doing, not because his 401K has gone on the wayside. He’s like my Dad, who worked well into his mid seventies.
What I don’t understand, is why people didn’t invest in Oil Companies instead of Insurance, Auto and Mortgage Companies? I saw the writing on the wall back in 2002, and then more so in 2005.
Exxon Mobil posted a record third quarter profit of nearly 10 billion dollars (other worldwide Oil Companies also posted record profits). Immediately the price of gasoline began to drop, and it is now at the level (average cost per gallon) that it was 3 years ago.
The Exxon Mobil Company has a current Market value of about $500 Billion. Instead of bailing out frivolous companies, why doesn’t our government spend our money more wisely and buy a known profit maker such as Exxon Mobil.
Let’s take this one step further. What other American enterprise has been always known to make a profit? Any guesses?
Yeah, it’s Organized Crime. These (wise) guys, unlike our Government, do not like to lose money in a business venture. These are profit oriented people.
Now let’s say that the US Government allied with Organized Crime (we have, albeit surreptitiously, done this before). Of course this would be unpalatable to the moralists, the religious right and all of the do-gooders who think gambling, prostitution and extortion is a sin. Not to mention a few murders. At least, most of the Chicago Catholics that I know would be all for it.
Organized Crime (OC) has been involved in legit businesses for many years. They hire the best and if someone screws up, they literally cut them. They are a very profit oriented group of individuals. If the competition gets in their way; they remove the competition. It may not be moral or ethical, but it works and they always make a profit.
First the Government uses OC to buy Exxon Mobil at 75% of its market value (they’ll make the shareholders an offer that they can’t refuse – the Executives holding large share blocks would be pooping in their drawers or sleeping with horse’s heads). In return the US Government gives OC 50% of the profits. Both sides make money. No one loses, except the “fat cat” oil company CEO’s (who also happen to be major stock holders).
Organized Crime does it’s best to eliminate competition efficiently.
Who is the competition? OPEC! To maximize their profits, Organized Crime has been well known to limit competition. After removing one or two competitors, the other competitors will give a large percentage of their product to Exxon Mobil at a reduced cost. The savings, less a slight profit, would be passed on to the American consumer.
Unlike Corporate America, Organized Crime (none of their CEO’s are on the Forbes top 100) is not heavily into avariciousness; they just want their fair share, therefore they would pass on their profits to the American Public by encouraging and financing entrepreneurs, who in turn, will give them a fair share of their profits. Good for our economy in general.
There are those that will say that I am advocating that gangsters should run our major corporations (not a bad idea considering how poorly they are being currently operated). Organized Crime is not a bunch of street punk gangsters, as they are often portrayed in the movies. Instead they are profit oriented businessmen. They just cheat a little.
I say that these “wise guys” can do a lot more for the American Economy than the current overly high paid administrators of our major corporations. The big guys will lose (perhaps, even their lives) and the little guys, like you and me, will gain in the long run.
Just think about it!
The Beach Bum
The proponents of this action will tell us that this is good thing. People that have invested in the market and 401K plans are losing their retirement income. A friend, who is 65 years old, told me that he must keep working for at least another year because of a major drop in value of his 401K. He’ll work until he drops, because he loves what he is doing, not because his 401K has gone on the wayside. He’s like my Dad, who worked well into his mid seventies.
What I don’t understand, is why people didn’t invest in Oil Companies instead of Insurance, Auto and Mortgage Companies? I saw the writing on the wall back in 2002, and then more so in 2005.
Exxon Mobil posted a record third quarter profit of nearly 10 billion dollars (other worldwide Oil Companies also posted record profits). Immediately the price of gasoline began to drop, and it is now at the level (average cost per gallon) that it was 3 years ago.
The Exxon Mobil Company has a current Market value of about $500 Billion. Instead of bailing out frivolous companies, why doesn’t our government spend our money more wisely and buy a known profit maker such as Exxon Mobil.
Let’s take this one step further. What other American enterprise has been always known to make a profit? Any guesses?
Yeah, it’s Organized Crime. These (wise) guys, unlike our Government, do not like to lose money in a business venture. These are profit oriented people.
Now let’s say that the US Government allied with Organized Crime (we have, albeit surreptitiously, done this before). Of course this would be unpalatable to the moralists, the religious right and all of the do-gooders who think gambling, prostitution and extortion is a sin. Not to mention a few murders. At least, most of the Chicago Catholics that I know would be all for it.
Organized Crime (OC) has been involved in legit businesses for many years. They hire the best and if someone screws up, they literally cut them. They are a very profit oriented group of individuals. If the competition gets in their way; they remove the competition. It may not be moral or ethical, but it works and they always make a profit.
First the Government uses OC to buy Exxon Mobil at 75% of its market value (they’ll make the shareholders an offer that they can’t refuse – the Executives holding large share blocks would be pooping in their drawers or sleeping with horse’s heads). In return the US Government gives OC 50% of the profits. Both sides make money. No one loses, except the “fat cat” oil company CEO’s (who also happen to be major stock holders).
Organized Crime does it’s best to eliminate competition efficiently.
Who is the competition? OPEC! To maximize their profits, Organized Crime has been well known to limit competition. After removing one or two competitors, the other competitors will give a large percentage of their product to Exxon Mobil at a reduced cost. The savings, less a slight profit, would be passed on to the American consumer.
Unlike Corporate America, Organized Crime (none of their CEO’s are on the Forbes top 100) is not heavily into avariciousness; they just want their fair share, therefore they would pass on their profits to the American Public by encouraging and financing entrepreneurs, who in turn, will give them a fair share of their profits. Good for our economy in general.
There are those that will say that I am advocating that gangsters should run our major corporations (not a bad idea considering how poorly they are being currently operated). Organized Crime is not a bunch of street punk gangsters, as they are often portrayed in the movies. Instead they are profit oriented businessmen. They just cheat a little.
I say that these “wise guys” can do a lot more for the American Economy than the current overly high paid administrators of our major corporations. The big guys will lose (perhaps, even their lives) and the little guys, like you and me, will gain in the long run.
Just think about it!
The Beach Bum
Labels: Finance, Just for Laughs, The Economy
posted by The Beach Bum at 10:50:00 AM
7 comments
