Life and Death

A fellow blogger recently had a colonoscopy. One of the polyps that were removed was cancerous. It’s a frightening thought.

I do the colonoscopy thing every 2 years. Fortunately all of the polyps that have been removed from me were benign.

In 1999 I was diagnosed with Diverticulitis and had a second attack in 2000. Apparently I hadn’t learned my lesson from the first attack and continued to eat food that tasted good, but was bad for my intestines.

I also suffer from a hiatal hernia which was first discover in 1991 when I thought I was having a heart attack and was rushed to the emergency room. Fortunately the ECG was negative; cardiovascular problems are prominent in my family’s medical history, therefore I was concerned. Of course, most of them lived well into their 80’s and I was only in my late 40’s at that time.

In 2004, the learned Doctors at the Bay Pines VA Hospital in St. Petersburg gave me 2 years to live if I didn’t immediately cease my bad habits. Too much Caffeine, Nicotine and Alcohol would lead to my premature demise. I was damaging my vital organs.

I compromised; I now drink only Decaffeinated Coffee. This and the dietary restrictions that I have because of my gastrointestinal problems will supposedly prolong my life. If I would rid myself of my other bad habits, I could possibly make it to my 70’s.

Some people already call me a “miserable old man”. Take away my alcohol and nicotine and you’ll really see the meaning of miserable.

I forgot to mention that I have COPD, Varicose Veins and possibly PAD. The VA Hospital is very touchy about diagnosing these ailments. Especially if they are related to one’s time spent in the military.

My sister, whom I call Saint Suzanne, is a Trudeau follower. Not Gary, the creator of Doonesbury, but the author Kevin Trudeau “Natural Cures”.

I don’t like anyone that has an info-commercial on late night television and wouldn’t buy any of their products. However St. Suzie does.

Through Trudeau’s books she has gotten me on various dietary supplements. I have an aversion to taking prescribed medicines – Pharmaceuticals - This is one of my phobias, of which I have many. A cheap 61 grain aspirin per day works fine. I can deal with the other aches and pains. However, I must admit that these supplements that Suzie suggested are helping me and I’ve feeling much better since taking them.

My knees are shot and I have developed bursitis in my left shoulder. My alcohol consumption relieves me of this pain that I feel. My nicotine consumption keeps me on an even keel, I rarely lose my temper when smoking. Some of my friends suggest that I smoke marijuana to relieve my pains. Not until they make it legal!

Both alcohol and nicotine are drugs, albeit legal drugs. But these are drugs that no Doctor will prescribe; there is no money in it for them.

The Beach Bum