Thursday, February 22, 2007

Pain in my Heart

My son left early this morning on a thousand mile journey from Florida to Maryland. He is driving, which scares me. I suffer from both Hodophobia and Amaxophobia. Although I have also been diagnosed with Pteromerhanophobia, I prefer flying to driving.

Actually, I do not have fear of flying. I have a fear of crashing and burning to death in an aircraft. But I don’t believe that they have a name for this particular sub phobia. They just group it as Pteromerhanophobia.

As I write this Blog, my son is somewhere on I-95 in North Carolina. He’ll being spending the night with a friend in Yorktown, Virginia before returning to Maryland tomorrow.

My son has lived with me for the past 6 months. His son, my grandson, also lived with me until three weeks ago, when his mother took him back to Maryland.

My son is a better father that I ever was. This is very hard to admit, but I must.

Although we had constant arguments, I believe that my son and I had finally bonded during the past 6 months.

According to the “Learned Doctors”, because of my bad habits, I am dying and “Banging the Drum Slowly”.

I live my life from day to day!

I fear that in my lifetime I will never see my son or grandson again. That would be a shame. A tragedy!

This is a very hollow feeling; it makes tears well up in my eyes!

Right now I listening to Otis Redding – “Pain in my Heart” but thinking of my son instead of a former lover.

The Beach Bum

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