Thursday, March 22, 2007

A Night Out Lusting

I’ve been feeling kind of depressed lately. It has been four weeks today that my son left and move back to Maryland. It seems like it was just yesterday that we were sharing time together. I guess that as one gets older time passes by much quicker.

My support group, which consists of my Army buddies, who I knew when I was stationed in Africa, have made several suggestions to get me back on the right track. Some suggested that I take “happy pills”. The VA Hospital will give these pills to me and the learned Doctors there have suggested in the past, that I should take them.

My depression is not continuous; but it just comes and goes without warning. Most of the time I am a “happy camper” who enjoys his life. I’ve had this problem (depression) for several years. I’m not suicidal but I do cry much more than a male should cry. And the strangest things will make me cry.

There are movies that I just cannot watch without tears welling up in my eyes. These movies are not considered to be tear-jerkers. Most of them are happy movies and I find myself crying tears of joy. But I still do not understand why. Somehow I over relate to the characters in the movie. A form of catharsis.

Another member of my “support group” suggested that I “get out of my cave” and be around people more often. I have several, OK many, Phobias, but I am neither xenophobic nor am I agoraphobic. I just enjoy being at home more than I enjoy being in public. I do not feel the need to go out and mingle. My friend tells me that this is an abnormality and not good for me.

So tonight I went out to mingle. Actually I was hungry and had Cheeseburgers on the brain. This is one of those foods that I shouldn’t be eating, my eating of beef causes intestinal problems. I took a couple digestive enzyme pills and will hope for the best tomorrow.

I’m beginning to ramble, as I have been over served tonight. When writing I get easily sidetracked. Shortly I’ll get to the point of this post. I just felt that I had to set the scene.

I walked three blocks up to my favorite Bar and Grill; they serve a good Cheeseburger. There was an open stool at the outdoor bar. This is good because I smoke and you cannot smoke indoors in a Florida Restaurant.

I ordered a beer and a cheeseburger with fries. Sitting next to me was an attractive young lady, probably in her late 30’s or early 40’s. I've learned that you never ask a woman's age - you just guess. I attempted to strike a conversation several times. Finally she told me that she was a Lesbian. I told her that I wasn’t trying to hit on her; I just wanted to have a conversation.

Of course, this was a lie. After she had told me that she was a lesbian, the thoughts of a possible threesome started running through my mind like a wild fire. Pure Lust! I used all the charm and wit that I could muster. I even bought her two drinks and we talked for over an hour. She was really a nice person and good conversationalist. I was trying hard to convert her to heterosexuality.

As hard as I tried I got nowhere with her. I am now home, horny as hell and wishing that I was a lesbian. I will probably be suffering tomorrow from the burger that I ate earlier. But, all in all, it was a good night out of the cave.

The Beach Bum


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