Swine Flu Attacks the Blogosphere

During the last three days I have read more about the impending Swine Flu epidemic than I have about the President or the US Economy. Maybe this is good news.

Not only are all the major newspapers and news services bombarding us, but also the Blogosphere. Some of these Bloggers are seemingly bordering on the brink of insanity about this topic. Just do a Blog search on Google for Swine Flu and you’ll see what I mean.

For example one Blogger writes (in depth) that this is an Al-Qaeda plot to eliminate their enemies (the infidels) via biological warfare. Members of the Islamic faith do not eat pork (or at least they are told that they shouldn’t eat pork), so therefore, there are no pigs in Islamic countries (well at least none of the four-legged variety).

But the Blogger fails to mention that Al-Qaeda’s arch enemy, (Israel and people of the Jewish faith) does not raise pigs nor do they eat pork (or at least they are told that they shouldn’t – something to do with the Bible – cloven hoofs, chewing cud and all that nonsense).

Another Blogger espouses a theory that it (Swine Flu) is the Obama’s administration’s way of distracting the media away from his first 100 days in office. If this is true, it has worked. Unlike the Blogger, I don’t think that Barack Obama has done a terrible job, just a little less that I expected. I never understood why a benchmark for the presidency is 100 days. Given what he has to deal with, I give him a higher rating (for his first 100 days) than Bill Clinton or George W. Bush.

Finally the Blog theory, about the Swine Flu, that I like the best.

This Blogger alleges that the Swine Flu "pandemic" is an US Government plot to keep Mexicans out of the United States. He goes on to state that it is the intention of the US Government is to ship all illegal aliens back to Mexico (does this include illegal aliens from countries other than Mexico?).

If this is true (which I doubt) I will stand up and applaud the people in our Government that have fostered this cause. I salute them for their ingenuity. Let’s keep the Swine Flu and illegal aliens in Mexico where they both belong.

As for me, I’m staying out of contact with any Mexicans or friends and family that have been in contact with a Mexican during the past two weeks. It’s better to be safe than sorry.

The Beach Bum

An Act of Kindness Never Goes Unpaid

The Curmudgeon at the Second Effort Blog has done it again. As he often does, he has evoked vivid memories of my youth. And as often is the case, my response to his Friday Blog would have been too long to post as a comment.

His story is very humorous, but at times it made me cry because it made me reminisce. It starts out with his working a cafeteria while in college. It ends with a moral that we should all pay heed to.

I have eaten in many different school cafeterias (the best food was at the Georgetown University teaching Hospital – no, I wasn’t a student), but I have never worked in one. Most of the food in school cafeterias is very nutritional but lacking in flavor.

The Curmudgeon tells us of his serving food to the other students, some of whom he knew. And what a thankless job it was; nobody acknowledged that they knew him. Subsequent to that experience, he made it a point to make eye contact (with the servers who were serving him) and greet them.

I had learned this lesson many years before he did. I was in a school cafeteria line and trying to decide which entrée to select. I heard a sharp voice boom out at me, “Watcha you waitin’ fo, can’t you see there be a line of students behind you.” I looked up and saw a heavy set Black Women with fire in her eyes. I saw her name tag (initially thinking that I should report her) and I said “Dorothy, I just can’t decide what will upset my stomach the least.” She laughed.

Later I would always go through her line and greet her by name. We would always have a short conversation and she would advise me on what to select (I’m sure that she had tasted everything). Each year I would give Dorothy a Christmas card with five dollars (back then $5 was a lot of money – you could buy a full tank of gasoline and still have some money left over).

Later in his Blog, The Curmudgeon states that he “learned a valuable lesson.” He applies the learned lesson to the beggars, bums and homeless people working the downtown streets of Chicago.

My Dad taught me a valuable lesson about beggars, bums and homeless people when I was 11 or 12 years old.

As we did almost every Sunday, we would walk two blocks to the News Stand to get the Sunday Newspapers. One day, on the way there, a Bum (my Dad called them Panhandlers) approached my Dad and asked for money. My Dad dug into his pocket and gave him three quarters. I was a bit perturbed at this because my allowance was only $1 per week and I had to do a myriad of chores to get it.

Waking back home I asked him why he did it and said that he could have increased my allowance instead. He told me "He needs it more than you do.” He then said that “Jesus smiles down on those that perform acts of charity.” In his lifetime my Dad preformed many acts of charity, including acts of charity to me.

Eight years later I was interning (working for less pay – for doing the same job as my co-workers) at a downtown Chicago Bank. The Bank had a cafeteria but I would usually walk 3 blocks to a Coffee Shop in the building where my girlfriend worked, and we would have lunch together.

One day, a half block away from the Coffee Shop, I was approached by a Bum wearing a raggedy plaid long sleeve shirt (it was August), a Native American, who asked me for a quarter for a cup of coffee (back then you could get a cup of coffee for 15 cents). I told him to come with me and that I would buy him the coffee and a sandwich too. He reluctantly came with me; I’m not sure if it was because of the way that he was dressed or that he rather have had the quarter to buy some cheap wine.

When I walked into the Coffee Shop with him, my girlfriend was already there. Both she and the waitress gave me an icy stare.

After lunch, I walked him out and give him a five dollar bill and said “Now you can get your wine.” His eyes lit up like silver dollars and he thanked me profusely. In return I got a very warm feeling in my heart.

I'll never forget Dorothy or the Bum. Thanks Curmudgeon for rekindling these precious memories.

The Beach Bum

I'll Be Back

I’ve finally come to a decision about continuing or not continuing to write the Beach Bum Report.

First let me say that my little experiment in human nature hasn’t gone that well. I have gotten email responses from some of my friends saying that they don’t know 10 people other than our mutual friends (who already read the Blog on a semi regular basis). This is disheartening. And it is indeed a sad commentary.

I have more than 50 names in my new OE address book (created last October); 35 are what I consider to be close friends and 8 are relatives. Granted, I don’t write to them as often as I should. Unless they send me a personal – not forwarded or group – email, I don’t answer unless I have something to say on the topic; which has now become a rarity. I get 50 to 100 emails each day, and I read all of them no matter how inane they may be.

Add to this the fact that I do not type well (I use three fingers and one thumb and have been clocked at the lightning speed of 28 WPM). My mind is usually moving faster than my fingers (and thumb), therefore there is much use of the Backspace key. Plus, as most people that read my Blog know, I tend to be a bit loquacious. It will take me up to 30 minutes to answer a simple email and more than an hour to write a Blog.

That being said I have decided to continue writing the Beach Bum Report. But neither because of the increased traffic (and comments to my Blog) that I have received during the past four days, nor because of the emails that I have received from friends imploring me to continue to write.

But the real reason I decided to carry on is that a fellow Blogger, the Curmudgeon of the Second Effort Blog, took some of his (he’s a Chicago Attorney) valuable time to write about my Blog last Wednesday. As usual, his Blog was very well written. He also wrote a second blog that day titled “Strange Requirements at the Soulless Megabank”.

The Curmudgeon writes about his family and the world around him. He blends humor (sometimes sarcastic), pathos and rationality into his Blogs. At times his Blogs make me laugh and at other times they make me cry. That is a sign of a great writer, and I believe the Curmudgeon is great writer. He’s far better than I will ever be.

The Beach Bum

One Plus One Still Equals Two

Recently the Curmudgeon at the Second Effort Blog has written several Blogs about the importance of teaching our children mathematics. Specifically he mentions teaching Calculus at a High School level.

I don’t particularly agree with this because any Engineer, Scientist or Mathematician worth his salt usually has at least a Masters Degree, if not a Doctorates in his chosen field of endeavor. That’s 2 to 5 more years of college.

But, I agree that there should be an option for students to take Calculus as an elective in High School. Judging from the recent national average of SAT scores, it would be a very small class in most public schools.

I had fairly high scores on my math SAT’s. I answered the questions that I knew quickly, worked out the problems that I thought I could solve and on the ones that I didn’t have a clue, I answered C (at the time a probability of being 40% correct). I didn’t take Calculus until my third year in College. I was not planning to become an Engineer, Scientist or Mathematician.

Now my opinionated story!

When my now 41 year old daughter was in the First Grade, her school had a “meet the teacher’s” night. Being concerned parents, my wife and I attended. My daughter’s teacher attempted to explain “New Math” to a group of predominantly college educated adults. We didn’t have a clue as to what she was telling us. First, her command of the English language was sub-standard. Secondly she couldn’t convey her message to educated adults. And this woman was teaching my child.

After Parent’s Night I called a former Professor, who was also my mentor and a friend. I related my experience at the school. I told him of my encounter with the first grade teacher and he said that he wasn’t amazed.

His explanation was:

Sometime in the late 60’s the college admission requirements were lowered. It was done to accommodate minorities who had attended high schools that didn’t have the proper curriculum for college admission via the SAT’s. Therefore many non-minority students were admitted that didn’t really belong in college (the males were probably trying to avoid the draft).

The majority of these students could not keep up and had a low GPA, but it was still high enough to receive a degree (class curve standards had also been lowered). He said that a B+ (cum laude)student in the early 1970’s was the equivalent of a C+ student in the mid 1960’s. This explained why I made the Dean’s List (with a 4.0 average) 3 semesters in a row.

Many of the new college graduates could not find a job equivalent to their educational level. Therefore they took two 3 hour courses, in Elementary Education, which qualified them as teachers.

Unlike the old days, they became teachers, not to teach, but to earn a living. They had no love of their job. They were not there to disseminate information but to follow the lesson plan prescribe by the school board. They didn’t care about their students nor their student’s progress.

This is a sad commentary on our educational system that my Professor Friend made it in 1973, thirty-five years ago.

Now back to the original topic: Math.

Either you have a desire to learn the subject on a higher level or you don’t. A student shouldn’t be pushed or forced into any discipline. If you don’t want to be an Engineer, Scientist or Mathematician there is very little need for you to take upper level Math courses. There are still very many professions that do not rely on an upper level math background.

The Curmudgeon is correct; our school systems do not push mathematics to the level that they should be pushing them. But as my Dad would say “The world needs ditch diggers too”.


The Beach Bum

10-4 Good Buddy

The Curmudgeon has declared today (10-4) as CB Radio Day. He has asked those of us who remember CB Radios to write a Blog about them. As a general rule I usually do not participate in Memes, but in this case I will make an exception.

In the early 1970’s CB Radios were becoming a fad. Until that time they were primarily use by Truck drivers and Taxi drivers to communicate over short distances. Unlike Amateur (Ham) Radio operators, no real license was required. Any fool could broadcast over the 27MHz airwaves. Some marketing genius came up with an idea to sell more radios. Let’s get the general public interested in using the Citizens Band.

Here’s my story.

In 1974 one of my frivolous neighbors, (you know, the type that must be the first kid on the block to own anything new, regardless of cost) bought a CB Radio for his car. He would sit in his car, outside of his house, and listen to the truckers driving on the Highway that fronted our Community. He would sit there for hours.

After watching him do this for several days, I had the gumption to ask him what he was doing. He showed me his new toy, gave me the lowdown on CB Radios and told me that he was trying to learn the CB language so that he could communicate with other CB’ers. Wow! If I hadn’t thought that he was a nut case before this time; this cinched it.

I asked him why he needed this device. Although he gave me several reasons, the bottom line was so that he could know where the Cops were setting up speed traps on the Highway.

First of all, everyone who traveled that road, on a regular basis, knew that there were only two places that the Police (could and did) set up speed traps. Secondly he didn’t use that road on a daily basis and rarely had to pass where the speed traps were set up.

After a week passed, he was no longer sitting in his car listening to the CB. I thought that the novelty of his new toy must have worn off.

A few days later I asked him why he was no longer listening to his CB Radio. Had he mastered the language?

He told me “not yet” but he had bought a home base so he could listen in the house rather than sitting in the car. The look on my face must have been very similar to the AFLAC Duck’s expression when Yogi Berra sez “They give you cash, which is almost as good as money.”

The Beach Bum

Clicking for Dollars

The other day I read a comment that was placed on one of my favorite Blogs. The comment was concerning the Google Ads on the top of the opening page of his Blog. The commenter cited the three Ads and asked the Blogger how much was he getting paid by Google to have these Ads placed on his Blog.

The commenter is a regular visitor to the Blog and probably was just being facetious. The relevancy of the Ads was far off the nature and general topics of the Blog. Google takes pride in their bots ability to place relevant Ads on Websites and Blogs. But on occasion the bots screw up.


According to Google’s Ad Sense Terms of Service (TOS – you know, those things that you never read and just click on “I Agree”) he is not allowed to answer the commenter's question.

I’ve been barred from Google Ads. I wrote a Blog about this in December 2006.

Why? Because. I inadvertently violated the terms of service that I had never read.

How did I do this unforgivable act?

First, even before I let them put the Ads on my Blog, I made mention in a Blog that I was placing them there and that I would be making money by readers clicking on these Ads. (Big TOS Violation)

Then in another Blog I suggested that people who were reading the Blog (at the time mostly my friends and family) check out the Google Ads. (Bigger TOS Violation).

The last straw for Google was that I had a 48% click rate (a very good click rate is between 5 and 8%). This was unfair to their advertisers. However, (in their cancellation notice) they neglected to mention that I had a good conversation rate.

My Amazon Link on the Right Side Bar has a 63% conversion rate. Why? I occasionally promote it and all my friends and relatives use it for their Amazon purchases.

Why? Because. They know that I am making a few cents off of every one of the purchases that they would be making nevertheless.

Now, here’s what I do.

On the Major sites (including Google and Yahoo) that I visit, I click often. This helps to keep them free. I actually read the ads (they know if you are just clicking and leaving), but I rarely buy. On the Blogs that I enjoy, I click their Ads at least twice per week and I try to pick the Ads that will give them the most revenue per click.

Everyone should do the same. It doesn’t cost you but a few minutes of your precious time per week. You will be keeping the free sites free and putting a few cents in some blogger's pocket.

The Beach Bum

Check Them Out

I have added a few more blogs that I visit to the right sidebar. This is a long overdue change to my template, as I had planned to do this in January. If you haven’t noticed by now, I have a tendency to procrastinate.

The first blog added is Gledwood Vol.2. It is written by a heroin addict who lives in England. Besides the stories of the fighting of his addiction, he also writes on a variety of other topics that I find interesting. All in all this blog is a good read.

The second is Captain Picard’s Journal. You don’t really have to be a Star Trek (Next Generation) fan (I am), but it helps if you are. If just so to understand the characters mentioned in the Blog. It is a well written Blog that I enjoy reading at least once a week. The author of this Blog makes me feel as though I am actually reading Jean Luc Picard’s Journal.

The third is Skittles Place. For a year I avoided visiting this Blog because of its name. I don’t like candy unless it is dark chocolate. But constant references to the Blog by one of my favorite Bloggers (The Curmudgeon) enticed me to visit. My theory was that if he liked it, it had to be good. It’s full of Memes (if you don’t know what a meme is, Google the word).

Last, but not least, is Len & Bob’s Baseball Blog. This blog is written by WGN Cubs announcers Len Kasper and Bob Brenley. It’s a must read for all Cubs fans.

I will be adding more to the list in the near future as I try to visit at least 2 or 3 new Blogs per week.


The Beach Bum

Happy Anniversary Baby

Today is the first Anniversary of The Beach Bum Report’s first post. One of my friends, Richard Feder from Fort Lee, had been nagging me for more that a year to start blogging. He told me that I wrote well (questionable, at best) and that I had some good stories. In addition, I could make some pocket change by placing ads on the Blog. This sounded like a good idea.

I set up the account on Blogger in September 2006 but didn’t post my first blog until November 30 (6 month’s after my retirement). In December 2006 I was averaging 12 visitors per day. Before going on a four month leave of absence last July, I was averaging 28 visitors per day. Since I have returned to the Blogosphere on the11th of November it’s been 18 per day. Many of them read my Blog on a regular basis. This makes me happy.

However, I had thought that by now I would have a much larger readership. Therefore I am disappointed. I’m a firm believer in the two to the 10th power philosophy. This is, if 2 people tell 2 people who tell 2 people, ad infinitum (like a pyramid scheme). Allowing for diminishing returns, I should have about 1000 regular readers per week.

Now if only 10% of these 1000 regular weekly readers clicked on my ads (I currently have only one – Amazon.com, but plan to add more as soon as my readership increases), I’d be able to support my bad habits. I might even be able to afford one of those Hoochie-Coochie girls to clean out my pipes.

My plan for my second blogging year is to blog more often (only 175 blogs last year). As Mr. Feder sez, I have the time. I also plan to visit more blogs and add the interesting ones that I find to my blog roll. Three of the four that I currently link to are excellently written provocative blogs. Check them out on the right side bar.

The Beach Bum

Fishing

A fellow Blogger, that I admire, recently suggested that we post a picture and Blog about the picture that we have posted.

This concept caught my interest!

I have tons of pictures on my computer. Mostly of young naked women. The “Killer Clams” series that I received from a friend in 2001 is still one of my favorites. The clams that are referred to are not of the mollusk variety, but just as edible and tasty.

But I decided not to post these pictures because some would find them as being obscene. How anyone could find pictures of a naked nubile female obscene is beyond my imagination. But I am told that some people do and therefore I refrained from doing so.

Here’s my Picture and my story.

When my son was a pre-teen we spent a lot of time fishing. This was a father-son thing. I enjoy fishing. It is both relaxing and sporting. Pleasant conversations with your fishing partner(s) make it all that much better.

My Grandfather taught me that it was more important to just be fishing than to catch a fish. And that catching a fish, that you could eat, was a bonus.

The picture above is that of my son 3 years ago when he caught a near record Barracuda in the Gulf of Mexico (2 inches short). He fought it for nearly a half hour. If you have ever fought a game fish, such as Marlin or Tarpon, you know how tiring and exasperating this can be. He didn’t even know what he had on his line.

As Barracuda is not an edible fish and it was not a record catch; he released it after the photo was taken. The fish happily swam away!

The Beach Bum

Comments on Comments

“In the Wee Small Hours of the Morning” I cannot sleep. I ate a hardy dinner at 7 this evening and made the tragic mistake of lying on the couch to watch television. I slept until ten. A three hour nap! Now I am wide awake. Nothing to do. nowhere to go and I can’t sleep.

What better time to respond to comments that have been made on this Blog!

Rather than posting comments to a comment, I decided to write this Blog instead.

To Geoff - I resent being equated to Jerry Seinfeld, but thanks for your comment!

To my Cousin, The Admiral – I was taller and bigger than you were when I was 11 years old and you were 15, so I know that you couldn’t have possibly picked me up and put me into that Garbage Can.

To “The Curmudgeon” who has twice commented on my “Stella” post: I have been following this case closely via the Washington Post. In my opinion it’s insanity at the highest level. Why does our court system put up with this BS? I am happy to see that the Chungs have not yet given up and have not moved back to Korea.

To “Romulus” concerning my post “Si Habla Espanole”: I recently received this in an email and checked it out on “Snopes” it’s for real –

Theodore Roosevelt's ideas on Immigrants and being an American in 1907.

"In the first place, we should insist that if the immigrant who comes here in good faith becomes an American and assimilates himself to us, he shall be treated on an exact equality with everyone else, for it is an outrage to discriminate against any such man because of creed, or birthplace, or origin. But this is predicated upon the person's becoming in every facet an American, and nothing but an American...There can be no divided allegiance here. Any man who says he is an American, but something else also, isn't an American at all. We have room for but one flag, the American flag... We have room for but one language here, and that is the English language... and we have room for but one sole loyalty and that is a loyalty to the American people."

To my dear friend and “brother in arms” “Raymond”, who has commented on several of my Blogs - We are kindred spirits, although we may not always agree. I do feel sorry and have regrets about things that I have said to “my brothers and friends”. Fortunately they still love me. I’ll see you next week!

And finally to the most prolific commenter to my Blog – Richard Feder from Ft. Lee – Sometimes I wonder why I continue to write this Blog. Why do I waste my time with this “nonsense”? Thank you for you encouragement and your kind and not so kind comments. BTW did you get laid when reading Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliette?


The Beach Bum

What's in a name?

Several of the Blogs that I visit on a regular basis have comments made by a Blogger named “Empress Bee of the High Seas”. She must be a prolific commenter, as I do not visit more than 5 to 8 Blogs per day and her comments are usually there. At least she has good taste in Blogs.

However it makes me wonder - does this person have nothing better to do than to comment on other peoples Blogs? Although, I must admit that some of her comments are of interest, I have never visited her Blog. Why? Because of her blog name!

Any person that would call themselves an Emperor or an Empress offends me. I get that churning feeling in my guts. This is not good thing for me, because I have diverticulitis.

The Empress does not visit my Blog and I’m thanking God! Just seeing her name rubs me the wrong way! I can just imagine her leaving a comment on every blog that I write.

Empress Bee may be a great person and her Blog might be a great Blog. But I’ll probably never know.

There are other Blogs that I avoid reading because of the name of the Blog. I almost didn’t go to the Bestest Blog of All-Time because of the name. The non-word bestest bothers me; it’s something that you would expect hear from a 6 year old, not an adult. I originally visited Bobby Griffin’s Blog to complaint about the name of his Blog. And I did! But I also link to him because some of his Premium Bloggers author some very interesting and informative Blogs.


Some British guy once wrote, in a play; "What's in a name? That which we call a rose
by any other name would smell as sweet."

I’m sorry Will, but I’m not buying into that philosophy. We all have our own prejudices and predilections. Besides Roses cause me to sneeze, I prefer Carnations.

The Beach Bum

Bestest, UGGH , Blog

One of my four links to other blogs is “The Bestest Blog of All-Time”. At first the name of this Blog made me shudder. How do you turn a superlative adjective into a greater superlative adjective? I have heard children use this word and it has always bothered me, so I corrected them.

Bobby Griffin is the Blogmaster of “The Bestest Blog”. Bobby solicits donations and puts very many Pay Per Post Ads on his Blog. He even auctions off the “Bestest Blog of the Month” and gives the honor of the “Bestest Blog of the Week” to the person who has donated the most money to him during that given week.

I feel that this is unfair because a Blog should be judged by its content and not by who pays the most. But this is the “Bestest Blog” concept and I understand this.

I do respect and admire Bobby’s entrepreneurial skills. I’ve called him a “Money Making Machine” in previous posts.

Bobby has slacked off lately. He claims that it due to stress. I know the stress syndrome very well. Stress is what has given me my gastrointestinal problems. At least that is what the learned Doctors tell me.

One of my favorite Bloggers wrote a Blog about Bobby’s Blog the other day. I left a comment. I don’t leave very many comments.

Her Blog was highly critical of the people that have been causing Bobby all of this stress. She wrote about the donation aspect. And put the definition of the word donation on her Blog. My Dad would have liked this – she looked it up!

It appears that some of the people who have been "donating" to Bobby have great expectations. I expected nothing! I have received about twelve hits to my Blog from his Random Blog button. More than I expected.

Premium Bloggers on “The Bestest Blog” are guaranteed more hits, that is why they have donated to Bobby, to become a Premium Blogger and to attract more people to their Blog. What they do not understand is that it is the quality of the visitor not quantity of visitors that is an important factor.

I have complained, in the past, about Bobby’s lack of sustenance on his Blog. When he does writes, he writes well. He should write more often.

What has Bobby Griffin done for me?

Through his Blog I have found three of my favorite Bloggers. Their daily blogs are not only interesting but insightful and provocative. This is well worth the link to him which cost me nothing.

To those Premium Bloggers that carp and complain, I will steal a phrase from the British Philosopher Jagger -”You can’t always get what you want”.

Thank you, Bobby. Hang in there Buddy!

The Beach Bum