Turning My Brain into a Mass of Creamy Goo

On Super Bowl Sunday, the premier date for some of the better television commercials that we will see all year, the pickings were sparse. Bad economy, I suppose! However we were treated to a good game and, in my opinion, an above average half-time show.

The Monster.com Moose commercial was by far the best. The second best featured Alec Baldwin as an Alien touting Hulu.com. I had never heard of Hulu so I checked it out. Hulu features television programs with minimal commercial interruptions. Most of what I saw (that was available) was newer programming in which I have no interest. I departed the site.

Last month I saw a new Hulu.com commercial featuring Seth MacFarlane (the creator, animator and actor on one of my favorite television programs – Family Guy) as another alien trying to turn our brain’s gray matter into a mass of creamy goo matter, by allowing us to watch television programming on the internet.

Earlier this week I returned to Hulu. This time I decided to use “my head for something more than a hat rack.” I used their website search option. I love animated programs (Cartoons) and my all time favorite is a Jay Ward series called Rocky and Bullwinkle and Friends (later named Bullwinkle and friends). The cast was made up of old Stan Freberg alumni doing the voices of the main characters and William Conrad (radio’s Matt Dillion - Gunsmoke) as the narrator. During that time it was cutting edge humor geared at adults and teens.

Much to my surprise Hulu had it; the full first season of Rocky. I’ve watched 15 episodes from Rocky’s first season since last Tuesday. Each show is uncut (except for the original commercials) and lasts about 26 minutes (including about 4 – 30 second or less modern commercials; which are not of the obnoxious variety).

Then I started to think (a dangerous thing for me to do), if they have Rocky they may also have one of my all-time favorite sitcoms; McHale’s Navy. And they do and I have watched the first 15 episodes of that series. I can’t wait to go back to Hulu and search for more of what I call classic television programming.

So what if it’s turning my brain to mush and goo. At least I am returning to the “Golden Days of Yesteryear”.

The Beach Bum

Nuts, Hot Nuts, You get them from the Peanut Man

The weekend after Christmas I received a Christmas card from an old friend (Fonse). He had originally sent it to my old address on Treasure Island. The Post Office returned the card to him saying that the time for forwarding mail to my new address had expired. However they included my new address.

If I had sent someone a Christmas card and it was returned to me, I would have put it in the circular file next my desk. But not my friend! He put in a larger envelope and sent it to my new address.

I was touched by this, so I called him. He wasn’t at home so I spoke to his spouse (who used to dislike me with a passion because of a canoeing trip incident in 1981). But two days later, I finally reached him. We spoke for nearly an hour; I have a tendency to get long winded when speaking to people that I haven’t seen or spoken to in a year or so.

In the course of our conversation, he brought up the fact that I hadn’t fulfilled a promise that I had made to him 17 months before. I made the usual excuses, but decided that come hell or high water, I would keep my promise to my old friend.

My friend is a member (of high standing) in the Tau Kappa Epsilon Fraternity. He attended Millikin University (Decatur, Illinois) which has the Beta Chapter of TKE. As he explained to me once; it is a part of the Golden Triangle (original chapters) of Teke Houses in Illinois – Alpha (Illinois Wesleyan – Bloomington), Beta and Gamma (University of Illinois - Urbana) chapters.

The old saying on Illinois campuses, back in the early 1960’s, was “If you can’t go Greek go Teke”.

It has been purported that the film Animal House was based on the activities of the Fraters at the TKE Gamma Chapter. And in that movie the band (Otis Day and the Knights) that played in the Delta Frat House was based on a group called Doug Clark and the Hot Nuts.

And now, at last, I am finally getting to the point of this Blog.

In 1963 I bought a Doug Clark and the Hot Nuts album titled On Campus. It was a collection of bawdy songs that were popular in frat houses throughout the US. We would play it at all of our parties (along with Rusty Warren’s Knockers Up) in the 1960’s. Needless to say the album is scratched very badly.

My good friend Fonse asked me to transfer the songs from my vinyl album to a CD (something I had done for others in the past).

Fonse is still active in the TKE Fraternity system and wanted the younger Tekes to know what it was like to be a Teke in the late 50’s and early 60’s. He wanted them to be able to sing along with him when he sang Barnacle Bill and Roly Poly (Two Old Maids).

Although the Hot Nuts are still an active R&B band, very few college kids know who they are and what they were known for in the 1960’s.

I started the project in July 2007, but put on the back burner when I moved that August. I started working on it again last week and hope to finish soon.

After all, how can you break a promise to an old friend that spent an extra 42 cents (a total of 84 cents) in postage to send you a generic 25 cent Christmas card?

The Beach Bum

Do You Remember?

Two or three times a year I will get an email (usually forwarded) from some of my Old Fart friends, which asks if you remember certain things from the 1940’s through the early 1960’s. Most of them have 25 to 40 questions about things that were popular during that time frame.

The latest was titled “Older than Dirt”. I knew all of the answers, so therefore I am older than dirt. Surprisingly there were two “do you remember?” questions that I hadn’t seen before (Metal Ice Cube Trays with a Lever and Mimeograph Paper – actually it wasn’t normal paper but a waxed stencil paper that you attached to the Mimeograph cylinder).

The first “do you remember?” question (which appears on almost every list that I have seen) was Blackjack Chewing Gum. Blackjack gum is still being produced, albeit, in limited quantities. I, as well as Chuck Yeager, preferred a chewing gum made by the same company named Beamans. But the question should have been “do you remember?” Fan Tan or Beech-Nut Chewing Gum.

Another common “do you remember?” is Candy Cigarettes. These are also still being made. They are predominately found in assortment bags of cheap Halloween Candy. The better question is “do you remember?” two penny candies called Red Hot Dollars and Wax Lips. How about Bonomos Turkish Taffy (I liked the Banana flavored variety).

Finally the most posed question “do you remember?” the Studebaker. Everyone over 45 years old should remember Studebakers, but how many of them will remember the Kaiser or the Henry J. My dad had a 1951 maroon Kaiser; I thought that it was the coolest car in the neighborhood, at least until I saw a 1957 Chevy.

Now I will put forward five questions that should appear on every Baby Boomer “do you remember?” questionnaire.

1) Do you remember? What chain smoking television (and radio) Journalist’s sign off line was “Good night, and good luck”?

2) Do you remember? Who the original host of the 1950's prime time quiz program “Who Do You Trust” was?

3) Do you remember? What Spike Jones was best known for?

4) Do you remember? What you specifically received for 5 cents from the Topps Company in the 1950's?

5) Do you remember? What singer and television personality always said "Bless your pea-pickin' heart"?

If you can answer all five (without looking them up), then, like me, you are an older than dirt Baby Boomer.

The Beach Bum

Magical Mystery Memories

Yesterday afternoon I watched a movie on IFC (Independent Film Channel) that I hadn’t seen since the summer of 1964. It was the last movie that I had seen with the first “Love of My Life”.

We traveled by El to Downtown Chicago to catch the matinee showing of the movie. I believe that it was playing at the old United Artists Theater on Randolph and Dearborn, across from what is now call the Richard J. Daley Civic Center.

The theater had about 1700 seats and was more than half full when we arrived (it was almost at capacity when the Movie started). I couldn’t get an aisle seat (my preference) in a desirable location, but we were dead center screen about half way between the screen and the last row of seats.

The average age of the audience was probably 16 years old or less. I was one of the oldest people there except for some parents that had brought their children to see the movie. Although it was filmed in Black and White it was thoroughly enjoyable and I never left my seat (no need for that aisle seat).

The following summer I saw the four stars of the movie live in concert at Comiskey Park with the second “Love of my Life”. Our seats were in the upper deck with a very good view of the stage on the infield. I enjoyed the movie much more than I did the thirty minute concert; you could hardly hear the Beatles sing with all of the girls screaming.

The movie, of course, was A Hard Day’s Night. And I sincerely feel that it was much better than the Beatles follow up movie (filmed in color) Help!, which premiered in Chicago about a week or so later. In watching "A Hard Day's Night" you get the feeling that you know these four guys. They are regular people, they are just like you, but celebrities.

I was and still am a big fan of the Fab Four. I have every album (vinyl) that they made before they broke up as a group. This includes two versions (British and US) of “With the Beatles”, "Introducing the Beatles" and “Sgt. Pepper”. Plus I have a few compilation CD’s.

My friend and former neighbor, fellow Chicagoan, Dave Corzine put them all on audio cassette tape in 1979, it was great listening to them all again.

I will never forget the Beatles and the impact (through their music) that they made “In My Life”. The third “Love of my Life”, later to become my one and only wife, enjoyed the Beatles as much as I did.

Thank you IFC for bringing back such great memories!

The Beach Bum

Going, Going, Gone - It's a Homer

Last night we had Pizza for dinner. One of the Pizzas was plain cheese and the other was a cheese, sausage and pepperoni combo.

These were frozen Pizzas that were purchased at a local grocery store. My daughter cooked one pizza on her Presto Pizzazz Pizza turntable and the second in the oven on her Pizza stone.

I like Pizza, but the things that they attempt to past off as a Pizza at most of the chains is not what I call Pizza. Worst yet, are some of the frozen Pizzas that are available in the grocery store.

I’m spoiled. I grew up on the southwest side of Chicago. There were 3 small Pizzerias within a 2 block radius of my house. None of them served what is now called Chicago Style Pizza (a deep dish abomination). All had a thin cracker crust.

But the best Pizza came from a small Pizzeria across from Lawndale Park (Keeler Park) on west 31st Street. The place had a few tables and a small bar, most of their business was carry-out. There was no delivery back in the 50’s and 60’s. To this day this Pizzeria does on deliver, although they have 6 units in Chicago and its Suburbs.

It was named the Home Run Inn because an errant baseball from Lawndale Park broke their front window.

Last night, as my daughter was cooking the store bought frozen Pizzas, she brought out the box that the Pizza came in and showed it to me. My eyes lit up like Roman Candles on the Fourth of July: A Frozen Home Run Inn Pizza. She then read the back of the box which has the Home Run Inn historical story. She got choked up and tears were pouring from my eyes. Great Memories of simple pleasures!

I have seen these Pizzas in the Jewel Grocery Store when I visit Chicago, but never tried one because I could get the real thing and not a frozen facsimile.

My daughter said, last night, that it was the best frozen Pizza that she had ever eaten. The flavor of the cheese and sausage was unrivaled. The crust was excellent and the sauce was perfect.

She had this style of Pizza before (from Al’s and Falco’s in Cicero) when visiting Chicago, but never one from the Home Run Inn.

The Beach Bum

My Dad

My Dad once said that “we live our lives ‘til infirmity”. He reached that point in 2003 and passed away in January 2004. He was 89 years old.

Dad was a very wise person; however as a son, I could never admit this fact. All children believe that they are much wiser and better informed than their parents. To do so is human nature.

My Children most likely believe that they know much more than I.

Again, this is human nature. It’s written in our genetic coding. We must rebel against our parents. This is a natural thing. If you agree with your parents you are not normal.

My children rarely ask me for advice. As I rarely asked my Dad for advice. I knew better, as the honest advice that he gave was not the advice that I desired to hear. I gave him lip service and nodded at the appropriate times.

I always respected my Dad, buy rarely agreed with him. He was “Old School”, a fossil! Looking at it objectively, I am now “Old School” and a fossil.

Dad was very opinionated, but I now find myself to be more opinionated than he was. It’s a funny fact that we slowly change into the parents, that we held in disdain, as we age.

It’s a scary thought but I have turned into my Dad! Like it or not. I have.

I am a boring old man with nothing to say of interest to our youth. At least this is what the younger generation will say about me. I prefer to think otherwise.

The Beach Bum

HIM and I

"Click on Photo to enlarge"
More than 40 years ago, I spoke to an Emperor! Haile Salassie ("Might of the Trinity") I of Ethiopia. Our conversation consisted of (H.I.M.) “You are tall, are you a basketball player?” My answer was “No, your Majesty, I play Baseball and Football.” End of conversation; which lasted less than 20 seconds. However it is my 20 seconds claim to fame, I had a conversation with a living Emperor. How many people can say that?

His Imperial Majesty (HIM), Ras Tafari Makonnen adopted the name of Haile Salassie I when he ascended to the throne. His official title was the Conquering Lion of the Tribe of Judah, Lord of Lords, King of Kings of Ethiopia and Elect of God. We (GI’s) also called HIM the “Lord of the Flies”. There were at least 20 flies per person living in Ethiopia and Eritrea in the 1960’s.

The title Ras in Amharic (like in Hebrew) can have several meanings. Prince or Duke is the most common translation. Since Tafari Makonnen was the Crown Prince of Ethiopia before his ascension to the throne I assume that the title Ras meant Prince.

Haile was a cool little guy that spoke with a British accent. We were told to not look down on the Emperor, so all that I saw was the top of his hat when he was speaking to me.

He enjoyed reviewing and inspecting the US Troops that were stationed at Kagnew Station, Asmara, Eritrea. He liked Americans, which is unusual for an African leader. He would visit Kagnew at least once a year, mainly to get his annual medical and dental check up. Later he would award himself another medal for his visit. Haile really liked medals; he would award himself with a medal any chance that he got. They looked good on his uniform. And he loved wearing his uniform.

I shouldn’t really knock Haile, he was a fairly good Emperor (as Emperor’s go), except when it came to his treatment of the Eritrean people.

And who else (besides Haile Salassie) can claim that a Religion bears his name. The Rastafarians called him Jah – the living God.

The Beach Bum

600 - Good Company

Last night Sammy Sosa hit his six hundred Home Run. Only four other Major League Baseball players have done so. He’s in good company; Hank Aaron, Barry Bonds, Babe Ruth and Willie Mays.

The fact that he got his 600th Home Run against the team (my team) that he had hit 575 home runs for, is truly ironic.

I’ve always liked Sammy as a player. When the cross town Chicago White Sox gave, and I reiterate the word “gave” him to the Cubs, I was elated. Getting a rising star for someone who once was a good player but who was now a waning “has been” was something unusual for the Cubs front office to do.

Slammin’ Sammy has been accused of using steroids early in his career. And none of us can forget the “corked bat” incident! But I still like him as a player! The Sosa “hop” and the touch of his fingers to his lips and then to his heart when he returned to the dugout, is a classic Baseball moment that will not be forgotten.

Sammy is good for Baseball! I am a lifelong Baseball Fan. He is no longer a Cub, but I still enjoy watching him play the game! To a true fan, the game matters more that the standings or which team a player is playing for.

I want my team (the Cubs) to win and finish in first place and then go to the World Series. But as an old coach once told me; “It’s really not about winning or losing, it’s about enjoyment of playing the game.”

I have learned to enjoy the game!

And as one of my favorite childhood players once said "They throw the ball, I hit it. They hit the ball, I catch it." "Willie Mays"

That about sums up the game of Baseball.

The Beach Bum

Happy Birthday to Me

I’ve been getting very nostalgic today. My Birthday is tomorrow, so I am allowed to do this sort of thing. Yesterday, I spent the day on the beach ogling young women. I thoroughly enjoy thinking about the “good old days”. The days of my youth were uncomplicated. They were days of freedom, days of learning and days of simple enjoyment of life.

This morning I received a call from an “old friend” (The Captain - he’ll be 66 on the 4th of July) wishing me a happy birthday (he remembered). When were young, we live in the same neighborhood in Chicago. Although he is a few years older than I, we became friends when I drove a softball into his father’s car windshield while playing street ball.

Prior to that time my cousin (AKA the Admiral), the Captain and their other friends were well known for torturing me. They once put me into a 55 gallon trash can and then later dropped me into a Coal Bin at an abandoned warehouse. Picking on the little (and I was not so little) kid was fun. But this is the price that I paid for hanging with the older guys. I was 11 or 12 at the time and they were in their teens. To me, it was well worth the price of being abused.

Today, I reminisce on the “good old days”, tomorrow I’ll reflect about the past year (as I do on all my birthdays). Tonight, I’ll be staggering up to the Bar to see my old boss, who is also a dear friend, and will usher in the anniversary of my birth at 1:29 AM.

The Beach Bum