A Pleasant Waste of Time - Sometimes

In late June I wrote a blog about my signing up for Facebook. Against my better judgment, I signed up to please my daughters. They had signed on a week before at the urgings of one of the former “loves of my life”.

I have 22 Facebook friends (my younger daughter has more that 100); 6 of them are family members, 2 are former “loves of my life”, 3 are former roommates (they were really friends, because anyone who had the forbearance to live with me, had to be a friend) and 2 are former co-workers. The rest are childhood friends of my two daughters, who probably remember me only as “that crabby old man” who would go searching for his daughters when they were out past curfew.

Last week, a friend and former roommate tagged me. A tag is like a meme. I don’t participate in memes and I usually ignore tags (not that I get that many). But the topic of this tag fascinated me.

Rules: Don't take too long to think about it. Fifteen movies you've seen that will always stick with you. First fifteen you can recall in no more than fifteen minutes. Tag fifteen friends, including me because I'm interested in seeing what movies my friends choose.

He then listed his 15 movies.

I’ve been known to occasionally bend the rules; almost to the point of cheating (if I knew I could get away with it). So I grab a piece of loose leaf paper and put it on a clip board. Within ten minutes I had a list of more than 30 movies.

It’s funny how the mind works. The first movie that I wrote down reminded me of other movies featuring one of the actors (actress) in that movie. Then your mind leads you to a director. My hand was writing faster than a speeding bullet. I write a lot faster than I can type; and I don’t have to constantly use a backspace key.

I sat back and looked at my list and decided that some of the movies on the lower end of the list should have been closer to the top of the list. It was a hopeless cause (where is St. Jude when you need him?). So I decided to give up on this tag game and not participate.

After speaking to a friend (Richard Feder) yesterday, I decided to bend the rules and edit my selections. But I would not put the results on Facebook; instead I would write this Blog. The first movie listed is still the first movie that popped into my mind. It was the first non-animated movie that I had seen in color. The second was also second on my original list.

The List:

1. The African Queen
2. Casablanca
3. On the Waterfront
4. Star Wars
5. Forrest Gump
6. M*A*S*H
7. Animal House
8. Blazing Saddles
9. Goodfellows
10. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
11. 2001: A Space Odyssey
12. The Godfather
13. North by Northwest
14. Alien
15. Raiders of the Lost Ark

Five movies that just missed the final cut were:

1. Caddyshack
2. The Maltese Falcon
3. Donovan’s Reef
4. The Terminator
5. Charade

The problem with these tag games is that the list requirements are either too long or too short.

The Beach Bum

March Madness in January

In a telephone conversation yesterday, my friend Richard Feder from Fort Lee suggested that I write the following Blog. He also strongly suggested the Blog title (which I used out of deference for him). Thank you, Mister Feder.

Several months ago I was watching the movie “Protocol” with Goldie Hawn. I’ve always liked Goldie even though she married Bill Hudson, a second rate musician, in the mid 1970’s, instead of me (this might have had something to do with the fact that I was married). Nonetheless I enjoy most of her movies.

I always watch the closing credits of a movie. Because the music is usually good and not because I want to know who the Best Boy or Key Grip was. The music for the closing credits of the movie Protocol was a March song that I have heard thousands of times. At least one band in every parade that I have seen has played it. This is my favorite March music.

As I watched the music credits at the end of the movie credits line I did not see the name John Phillip Sousa. I wonder why they would omit this credit. I checked Amazon for a Soundtrack listing for the movie – none available.

So the next day I called my friend Feder (I recalled that he had played in a High School Marching Band in the late 1950’s). I then hummed several passages from the March. He remembered the March even though he said that I had hummed it off key (I should have played it on my Kazoo). I sez “Name that tune” He couldn’t, but he said that he would listen to his albums of Sousa Marches and get back to me.

A few weeks passed and I once again asked him to name that tune. He said that it was not on either of his Sousa Albums. I said “Oh well” and we dropped the subject.

That is until last Tuesday, when I heard two different Marching Bands play it in the Inaugural Day Parade.

Again, I called Feder, last Wednesday and he suggested that I try to get the play lists of the bands that were marching in the parade. I did, to no avail. The result was three hours of Google searches and the watching of many news station videos of the Parade.

This was pure madness; I had to know the name of that March. Why? I don’t know (Third Base), but at this point it was becoming an obsession.

On Thursday, I did even more searching on the internet (listening to sound bytes of more than 60 Sousa Marches) and made a few telephone calls; no luck. By this time it was so bad that I couldn’t fall asleep, I was hearing the March in my head. I had to know the name of that March.

Shortly before one in the morning I was again searching on the internet. Forty five minutes later I found it. I immediately sent Feder an email, knowing that he was in the arms of Morpheus I didn’t dare call him, with a link to the full version of the March.

Feder didn’t get my email because it was stuck in the Postini trash filter (whatever that is). By this time, it (or perhaps I) was driving him to the brink madness. Friday morning, at work, he remembered that a co-worker had been in a Marching Band. He found him and hummed a few bars for him. Voila, in last than 5 seconds the March was named.

The name of the March is National Emblem and it was written by Edwin Eugene Bagley and not John Philip Sousa. There are several videos on Youtube of Marching Bands preforming this March.

The Beach Bum

Shedding a Tear or Two

Last night I watched a 10 year old movie that I shouldn’t have watch. I had seen it several times before and I would get very emotionally distraught each time that I viewed it in the past. Last night was no different.

But it’s a great movie that was nominated for 10 Academy Awards and won 5 including best Director (Steven Spielberg), so I put myself through the agony once again.

Saving Private Ryan was a very well crafted, well written, and well acted movie. Spielberg directed films tend to bring out the deepest emotions of the viewer. Many of his films do not have happy endings.

The first time I got emotional while watching a movie was when I was 10 years old and watching John Wayne as Sgt. Stryker in the Sands of Iwo Jima. This was also the first time I ever saw my Dad get choked up and shed a tear.

My Dad was a WWII vet stationed in the European Theater during D-Day. He saw very little combat (he was rear echelon) but he did see a lot of dead US Soldiers. He went into Normandy 4 days after (June 10, 1944) the initial assault on Omaha Beach.

Dad didn’t really enjoy talking about the War, but he once recollected seeing very many dead bodies of Americans (as well as Germans) still on the beach where he landed (most of the GI’s were buried at the Normandy American Cemetery overlooking Omaha Beach). By this time the front lines were well inland.

Dad had an album of Black and White photographs that he had taken, showing the destructiveness and carnage of war. He told me to remember them well and that some day it might be my turn to serve my country. Ten years later it was and I did.

Tomorrow is Veteran’s Day. I’ll be thinking of my Dad, of friends that I served with in the Military and of the countless military personnel that never lived to see another Veteran’s Day. I’ll say a prayer for those currently serving in Iraq and Afghanistan, and I’ll shed a tear or two, as I did late last night while I watched Saving Private Ryan.

The Beach Bum

Magical Mystery Memories

Yesterday afternoon I watched a movie on IFC (Independent Film Channel) that I hadn’t seen since the summer of 1964. It was the last movie that I had seen with the first “Love of My Life”.

We traveled by El to Downtown Chicago to catch the matinee showing of the movie. I believe that it was playing at the old United Artists Theater on Randolph and Dearborn, across from what is now call the Richard J. Daley Civic Center.

The theater had about 1700 seats and was more than half full when we arrived (it was almost at capacity when the Movie started). I couldn’t get an aisle seat (my preference) in a desirable location, but we were dead center screen about half way between the screen and the last row of seats.

The average age of the audience was probably 16 years old or less. I was one of the oldest people there except for some parents that had brought their children to see the movie. Although it was filmed in Black and White it was thoroughly enjoyable and I never left my seat (no need for that aisle seat).

The following summer I saw the four stars of the movie live in concert at Comiskey Park with the second “Love of my Life”. Our seats were in the upper deck with a very good view of the stage on the infield. I enjoyed the movie much more than I did the thirty minute concert; you could hardly hear the Beatles sing with all of the girls screaming.

The movie, of course, was A Hard Day’s Night. And I sincerely feel that it was much better than the Beatles follow up movie (filmed in color) Help!, which premiered in Chicago about a week or so later. In watching "A Hard Day's Night" you get the feeling that you know these four guys. They are regular people, they are just like you, but celebrities.

I was and still am a big fan of the Fab Four. I have every album (vinyl) that they made before they broke up as a group. This includes two versions (British and US) of “With the Beatles”, "Introducing the Beatles" and “Sgt. Pepper”. Plus I have a few compilation CD’s.

My friend and former neighbor, fellow Chicagoan, Dave Corzine put them all on audio cassette tape in 1979, it was great listening to them all again.

I will never forget the Beatles and the impact (through their music) that they made “In My Life”. The third “Love of my Life”, later to become my one and only wife, enjoyed the Beatles as much as I did.

Thank you IFC for bringing back such great memories!

The Beach Bum

Classic Movies

Yesterday was the 100th Anniversary of the birth of James Maitland Stewart better know to all of us as Jimmy Stewart.

In honor of this event Turner Classic Movies (TCM) had a Jimmy Stewart movie marathon. I spent the good portion of the day watching them. Jimmy Stewart is one of my all-time favorite actors.

I saw my first Jimmy Stewart movie when I was 10 years old, watching it on my parent’s 27” Black and White television. It was Mr. Smith Goes to Washington. At that time I had a short attention span for dramatic movies; I preferred Westerns and Comedies. I stayed riveted to the screen and got up only once during a commercial. My Mom and Dad were amazed.

Whenever I saw one of his movies listed in the TV Guide I’d try to cajole my Dad into watching it (back in the old days the parents controlled the television – not the children). As long as it wasn’t on opposite Lawrence Welk he usually acquiesced.

The first Jimmy Stewart movie that I saw in a theater was Alfred Hitchcock’s Vertigo. What a spell binding movie. At this time I became a fan of Hitchcock movies. This was also the first time that I saw a Jimmy Stewart movie in color.

After that I rarely missed any of his films.

TCM aired 4 of my 5 favorite Jimmy Stewart movies yesterday; the only one that was missing was The Cheyenne Social Club. I did however get to see 8 of my top 10. I had a great day of television viewing.

The Beach Bum

Bond, James Bond

As a teen, I admired John F. Kennedy. So when he mentioned that Ian Fleming was one of his favorite authors, I immediately spent 95 cents on a paperback edition of “From Russia with Love”.

The President was right; Fleming was an enthralling author.

I next read “Casino Royale”, the novel that introduced James Bond. At this time I had formed a picture of Bond in my mind.

Within 3 months I had read 7 Bond novels. I was addicted.

Then in early 1963 I went to the State Lake Theater in Downtown Chicago to see Dr. No.

Although I didn’t think that Sean Connery looked like the James Bond that I had pictured in my mind, I enjoyed the movie.

I have always said that Connery was the definitive James Bond. Other members of my family prefer Roger Moore.

My opinion changed the other day when I viewed Casino Royale with Daniel Craig as James Bond.

Craig looks and acts as the Bond character does in Fleming’s books.

Another plus in this movie was that it was not loaded with gadgets and special effects. It portrays James Bond the way James Bond should be portrayed, according to Ian Fleming’s novels. My highest respect and regard goes out to the screen writers in their adaptation of Fleming’s Book.

The bottom line is that it is the best Bond movie that I have seen in nearly 40 years! It was very true to the book, except for the fact that they were playing Poker instead of Baccarat.

The Beach Bum

Love Toys

David Levy, president of the International Computer Games Association and author of “Love and Sex with Robots,” claims that by the middle of this century, people will cultivate lasting relationships with robots.

Who is David Levy and why should we believe him?

David Levy has worked in the field of Artificial Intelligence since graduating from St. Andrews University, Scotland, in 1967. He led the team that won the 1997 Loebner Prize in Artificial Intelligence in New York. In 1968 Levy (who is an International Master and expert in computer chess) challenged four Artificial Intelligence luminaries to develop a computer program that could beat him at chess within ten years (he won the bet in 1978, but was eventually defeated in 1989). He has also authored “Robots Unlimited: Life in a Virtual Age” in 2005.

Love and Sex with Robots: The Evolution of Human-Robot Relationships is not as far fetched as one would imagine. My first thought was that this sounds like something from Star Trek: The Next Generation. If you recall LTC Data was an anatomically correct android and at one point in the series began to develop emotional bonds with his fellow crew members. I believe that he even had sex with one of them. Is this purely science fiction?

Its concept reminds me of two movies. The first movie Cherry 2000 stars Melanie Griffith as tracker trying to find a love robot for a lovesick guy that has broken his female robot. If you haven’t seen it, don’t bother. The second is Artificial Intelligence – AI by Director Steven Spielberg. If you haven’t seen this movie; shame on you.

Now David Levy tells us that not only will this be possible it will be probable. This is a great concept. Not only would it save a lot of money and heartache in divorce proceedings, but it would also reduce the world’s population. Unfortunately it will not occur in my lifetime. I was born about 40 years too early to reap the benefits of having a robotic lover.

But as my friend Mr. Richard Feder from Fort Lee sez; “Why worry about the future, the world as we know it will be ending in December 2012 (the end of the Mayan Calendar).

The Beach Bum

Ernie

Today I read that there was a movie on the Hallmark Channel called “A Grandpa for Christmas”. It will be repeated again on the 30th of November. The review stated “A cheerful if woefully predictable holiday yarn that weaves in a couple of musical numbers and plenty of caroling to flesh out its 85 minutes, "A Grandpa for Christmas" is a true throwback, leading a wave of Hallmark Channel fare clearly designed to fill a niche the major networks have mostly abandoned.”

The Hallmark Channel is not one of the channels that I watch n a regular basis. Why? Please note that the movie run-time is 85 minutes. When placed in a 2 hour time slot this means 35 minutes of commercials or 17.5 minutes of commercials per hour. Considering that the first 20 minutes of the movie are usually commercial free, this leaves us with 35 minutes of commercials in 100 minutes (35% commercials and 65% movie). This means that there will be 7 minutes of commercials and 13 minutes of movie for every 20 minutes of programming.

As unbelievable as it may seem, I still would like to see this movie. It’s about children and old people, two of my favorite topics. But the main reason is the star of the movie; Ernest Borgnine. I didn’t even realize that he was still alive and still acting. This is ironic because I watched one of his earliest movies on TCM last night (From Here to Eternity) and wondered if he was still living.

My favorite Borgnine role was that of Quinton McHale on television. McHale’s Navy was one of the funniest programs in the early 1960’s. The crew of the PT-73 was a bunch of misfits that always came through in the end. The supporting cast was great; especially Tim Conway and Joe Flynn.

As bad as the review of “A Grandpa for Christmas" was and given the fact that it will be inundated with commercials, I will still be watching it this coming Friday. Just to see Ernie in what might be his final role.

The Beach Bum

A Great Waste of Time

My daughter subscribes to several premium cable TV channels including HBO, Encore and Showtime. All have at least 7 different channels. Needless to say I have spent much of the last three months watching a lot of movies.

Now that I have my computer set up again, I have been spending much less time watching the Boob Tube. It’s amazing how many hours one can waste watching the same movies over and over again. I even watched one movie back to back. First I watched it on HBO and then on HBO West. This is pure lunacy!

How many times can you watch episodes I, II, and III of the Stars Wars saga. In the past 60 days I have probably seen each of them at least 6 times. I was beginning to understand what R2D2 is saying and I'm also starting to phrase my sentences as Master Yoda does ("Always in motion is the future", instead of saying the future is always in motion.) Perhaps I’m becoming a Jedi Knight.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy watching these movies.

Last week Uncle John (my brother-in-law) asked me how I could watch movies like Sleepless in Seattle and You’ve Got Mail, over and over again (“Dude, those are Chick flicks”). I told him that they were currently the best commercial free programs available. This is a sad commentary on today’s television programming.

He said that I should be watching the History Channel, the Military Channel or the Science Channel. He also said that I should expand my mind (I still have occasional flashbacks from the last time that I expanded my mind). But even on these channels it’s the same old programs repeated over and over again. Plus most of them have at least 18 minutes of commercials per hour.

A lot of the programming on the Discovery Channel and its above mentioned affiliates seem to me to be someone’s Masters Thesis. And it sounds like it is the same old announcer on all of them; this guy must be making millions. Where are Leonard Nimoy and Paul Winfield? At least I enjoyed listening to their voices.

I have spent the last few days writing and playing computer games. This has drastically cut down on my television hours. I will have a personal internet connection within in the next two weeks. This will mean even less television. Much of my time will be spent answering or deleting the 1044 emails that are currently in my in-box.

The Beach Bum

Celebrity

Last Saturday night we watch the movie Asteroid on the Si-Fi Channel between 700 and 1100. It was originally a 1997 two part made for television movie, that I had fortunately missed. The acting was mediocre but the writing, editing and directing was much worse. Plus the concept of the movie was scientifically implausible.

So why did I sit there watching this movie for four hours (one and a quarter of which were commercials)? I watched it for a very simple inane reason. Uncle John (my brother-in-law) appeared in three scenes of the movie as an extra. The film was shot in the Denver area and John had nothing better to do at the time. In addition to getting free food on the set he was paid $60 per day to just stand around and hobnob with some of the actors in the movie.

Uncle John takes pleasure in associating with celebrities. He always has. He is what people refer to as a Groupie. He seeks them out so that he can have future bragging rights. He spent a lot of time on his cell phone Saturday night calling people to alert them of his appearance in the movie; which amounted to less than 10 seconds of screen time. (“Remember that picture of me and so and so the actor; well it was taken right after this scene.)

As a general rule I don’t appreciate people talking though a movie that I hadn’t seen. But as this movie was so bad, I didn’t really mind John’s constant jabbering about the actors and the movie (“he was a real nice guy”, “this scene was shot 4 miles from my house”, “they gave us the same food that the actors ate that night” etc. etc.).

In my lifetime I have met (and had conversations with) many individuals that have been considered to be famous people. It’s really no big deal; for me it’s just a memory. I rarely crow or brag about meeting them. Most of them are just people like you and me; only they tend to be wealthier or more prominent in the public eye.


In my eyes the most impressive of the famous people that I have met; was an Admiral (not my cousin “The Admiral” although he is also an impressive person) who I met in the early 1970’s. This Admiral was one of the first WWII Navy flying aces and was feature in a book authored by John Gunther. His wife was a former Miss America. I would stand, spellbound, for hours listening to his stories and his opinions on current affairs. At that time he was the Director of the National Security Agency. I thought that he would eventually become the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. He didn’t make it to that position because he was apolitical.

He is one of the few celebrities that I will boast about meeting.

The Beach Bum

The Bard

I just received an unexpected and interesting call from a female acquaintance that lives in Saint Petersburg. She got my number from a friend that I had worked with for 6 years.

What was most interesting about the call is that she remembered that it is going to be my birthday in 3 days. She also recalled a conversation that we had some years ago about my love for the theater and Shakespeare. She was inviting out to see Othello this Tuesday; the anniversary of my birth. I told her that I would think about it and would give her a call back.

I was being honest when I said “I would think about it”. Usually when I say that I will think about it, it means no way in Hell!

The last live theater production that I saw was Cats in the mid 1980’s. The last time I saw a production of a Shakespeare play was in the 1960’s before I went into the Army.

In High School, I hated my first forced reading of Shakespeare. It was Macbeth and was required reading in my first semester sophomore English class. What a drag for a 14 year old. What tedious reading, almost as bad as having to read Thoreau’s Walden!

It was announced in the syllabus of the second semester sophomore English class that we would be reading two more plays by the “Bard of Avon”. I had never seen so many frowns on the faces of my classmates (except those from the girls in my Freshman Biology class when we were told that we would be dissecting a Frog).

The first play we read was Hamlet. I liked this play much better than I did Macbeth. It was probably because the key quotes were much easier to memorize.

The second was Twelfth Night, or What you Will. After two tragedies, a comedy was a refreshing read. As an added bonus our teacher offered to chaperon us at a local production of this play in the Chicago suburbs. It was on a Saturday afternoon and I had much better things to do on a Saturday afternoon. However my parents told me I was going on this field trip or I would be restricted. It was a tough choice, but I went.

Seeing Shakespeare preformed live is nothing similar to just reading the play. There is so much more emotion in the words that he had written. Even mediocre Shakespearean actors can make your heart jump and flutter. Your eyes are riveted on the stage and you wait for the next line to be spoken. You begin to understand why Shakespeare was as highly acclaimed as a writer as he was.

Seeing Shakespeare preformed live is like eating peanuts. You can’t stop at just one. It is a good idea to read the play before you see it. Just to know the characters and their motives. But the words mean nothing unless they are spoken and when you hear them spoken you will be enthralled. You must remember that Shakespeare wrote them to be preformed, not read.

My favorites are his historical plays and his comedies. One of my favorites is Henry V. An excellent production of this play was brought to the screen by Kenneth Branagh; it was almost as exciting as seeing it performed live in the theater.

When Harry the King delivers his emotion packed speech to his men before Battle of Agincourt, it reminds me of my time spent in the military and the lasting friendship and brotherhood that I had established:

“We would not die in that man's company that fears his fellowship to die with us. This day is called the feast of Crispian. He that outlives this day, and comes safe home, will stand a tip-toe when this day is nam'd, and rouse him at the name of Crispian. He that shall live this day, and see old age, will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours, and say 'To-morrow is Saint Crispian.' Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars, and say 'These wounds I had on Crispian's day.' Old men forget; yet all shall be forgot, but he'll remember, with advantages, what feats he did that day. Then shall our names, familiar in his mouth as household words- Harry the King, Bedford and Exeter, Warwick and Talbot, Salisbury and Gloucester- Be in their flowing cups freshly rememb'red. This story shall the good man teach his son; and Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by, from this day to the ending of the world, but we in it shall be remembered-
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers; For he to-day that sheds his blood with me shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile, this day shall gentle his condition; and gentlemen in England now-a-bed shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here, and hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks that fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day.

The Beach Bum

Duke

100 years ago this past Saturday my childhood hero was born in Nowheresville, Iowa. Marion Michael Morrison would later be known as John Wayne; actor and patriot. He epitomized what I believe to be a real man. In real life he was the same person as the characters that he portrayed in the movies. A movie critic once said that John Wayne never acted, that he just played John Wayne.

This past weekend there has been a barrage of his movies on several of the Cable Networks. I enjoyed watching five of my favorites; The Man who Shot Liberty Valance, The Sons of Katie Elder, The Sands of Iwo Jima, Rio Bravo and Donovan’s Reef. I cannot recall ever seeing a John Wayne movie that I didn’t enjoy.


An article in the Chicago Tribune stated "Particularly for people overseas, John Wayne is America and the values America stands for: independent, responsible for his actions, loyal—almost to a fault—and somebody who won't take a lot of guff, somebody who believes in what's right."

This is a very good assessment of my childhood hero. This is why I admired John Wayne; the person, not the actor.

When I was in the Army and taking Basic Training at Fort Leonard Wood (41 years ago) a member of the Cadre on the Grenade Range told us to just pretend that we were John Wayne when we were tossing a grenade. I did and I scored well.

John Wayne was a die hard Republican. He even supported Richard Nixon (the President that I dislike the most). He would have made a much better President than “Tricky Dick”. But, at that time, it was unheard of for an actor to run for public office. Boy, have times changed.

God Bless you Duke and Happy Belated Birthday!

The Beach Bum