Turning My Brain into a Mass of Creamy Goo

On Super Bowl Sunday, the premier date for some of the better television commercials that we will see all year, the pickings were sparse. Bad economy, I suppose! However we were treated to a good game and, in my opinion, an above average half-time show.

The Monster.com Moose commercial was by far the best. The second best featured Alec Baldwin as an Alien touting Hulu.com. I had never heard of Hulu so I checked it out. Hulu features television programs with minimal commercial interruptions. Most of what I saw (that was available) was newer programming in which I have no interest. I departed the site.

Last month I saw a new Hulu.com commercial featuring Seth MacFarlane (the creator, animator and actor on one of my favorite television programs – Family Guy) as another alien trying to turn our brain’s gray matter into a mass of creamy goo matter, by allowing us to watch television programming on the internet.

Earlier this week I returned to Hulu. This time I decided to use “my head for something more than a hat rack.” I used their website search option. I love animated programs (Cartoons) and my all time favorite is a Jay Ward series called Rocky and Bullwinkle and Friends (later named Bullwinkle and friends). The cast was made up of old Stan Freberg alumni doing the voices of the main characters and William Conrad (radio’s Matt Dillion - Gunsmoke) as the narrator. During that time it was cutting edge humor geared at adults and teens.

Much to my surprise Hulu had it; the full first season of Rocky. I’ve watched 15 episodes from Rocky’s first season since last Tuesday. Each show is uncut (except for the original commercials) and lasts about 26 minutes (including about 4 – 30 second or less modern commercials; which are not of the obnoxious variety).

Then I started to think (a dangerous thing for me to do), if they have Rocky they may also have one of my all-time favorite sitcoms; McHale’s Navy. And they do and I have watched the first 15 episodes of that series. I can’t wait to go back to Hulu and search for more of what I call classic television programming.

So what if it’s turning my brain to mush and goo. At least I am returning to the “Golden Days of Yesteryear”.

The Beach Bum

Equal Pay

After watching the Ballgames yesterday I change channels to TMC in time to catch the ending of the African Queen, ate supper and took a late afternoon nap. When my daughter awakened me, I put the boob tube back on to see if there were any good movies on the commercial free cable channels.

There was nothing worth watching that I hadn’t seen at least 20 times. There are some movies that you can watch 100 times, none of them were on last night. I noticed that there were 5 episodes of House, MD on the USA Network. I’ve seen most of the episodes at least once, but even with all of the commercials they are worth watching a second or third time.

In the first set of commercials, there were two for other USA programs and one PPA (see yesterdays Blog below). The PPA was for Barack Obama. It showed several clips from his speeches and was obviously directed towards women voters. In the AD he repeats twice “Equal pay for equal work”. I am sure that he was targeting Senator McCain’s opposition to Senator Edward Kennedy’s Bill proposal in the Senate last spring.

McCain said “I am all in favor of pay equality for women, but this kind of legislation, as is typical of what’s being proposed by my friends on the other side of the aisle, opens us up to lawsuits for all kinds of problems, this is government playing a much, much greater role in the business of a private enterprise system.” Spoken like a true Republican!

Politically I am what is called a Conservative Liberal. But I do not agree with Kennedy’s proposal. On the other hand, I also do not agree with Senator McCain’s retort.

I do agree with equal pay for equal work. But what does this phrase actually mean?

For example, if I am making widgets and a fellow employee is also making widgets and we are both getting the same amount of pay per hour that is equal pay for equal work. However, if I am making an average of 2 more widgets per day than my fellow employee, shouldn’t I be making more money per hour?

Let’s take this one step further. Let’s say that my fellow employee is a minority or a woman. And that my employer is an Equal Opportunity Employer. A widget making supervisory position becomes available. Although I am more qualified for the position because I can teach the other employees how to make more widgets per hour, the other employee gets the job because of their minority status. The other employee, now my supervisor, is now earning about 50% more then I am earning. Plus has a much easier job than I have.

A year later I still making widgets, but my piece count has improved by 1 more widget per day. A managerial position opens in the front office and my supervisor, who once was my widget making co-employee, gets the job (because upper management needed a minority in the front office) with a hefty increase in pay. This leaves the supervisory position open, but I get passed over again because the company needs a minority supervisor.

Now let’s go into the real world!

I have a friend that was a High School teacher in Maryland. Although he was more qualified, he was passed over twice for an administrative position within the school system. Why? Because they needed a minority person as an administrator. He went on to get his second Masters Degree, this time in Library Science and is now making more money as a College Liberian than he would have as a High School administrator. He sez “there is a way to beat the system if you try.”

Equal pay for equal work is a good idea, but as George Orwell wrote in Animal Farm, “All animals are created equal” but some of them are more equal than others.

The Beach Bum

Illogical Logic

My son-in-law has developed a theory about automobile insurance. He and my daughter have USAA; which is in my opinion the best automobile insurance that you can have.

USAA doesn’t advertise on television and is limited to Military Personnel (past or present) and their families. This company is so good that if they have a profitable year they not only lower rates, but they also send out rebate checks.

Back to my son-in-law’s theory:

There are at least 7 automobile insurance companies that advertise on television on a very regular basis. All of them claim that they will save you money over your current provider.


Some companies claim that they will save you up to $500 per year.

But let’s say that the average savings per company is $250 per year. $250 times 7 equals $1750. This is more than my daughter and son-in-law are currently paying for automobile insurance on their two vehicles.

Therefore by switching companies 6 or 7 times they would be getting their auto insurance for free.

Of course, he was being facetious.

In all the years (nearly 40) that I had automobile insurance; I never filed a claim. I had one fender bender – not my fault - and we settled with cash. Yet I had spent about $28,000 to maintain my coverage over the course of those years. If adjusted for inflation, probably about $50,000 in today’s dollars.

Now that I am no longer driving nor have a vehicle, I feel that I should get at least a 50% rebate. I could really use an extra $25, 000.

Fat Chance!

The Beach Bum

And Now A Word From Our Sponsor

I just read that a 30 second commercial during the Super Bowl will cost advertisers $2.7 million per showing. There will be at least 63 – 30 second commercial breaks during the game on February 3rd. Do the math, that’s over 170 million dollars spent to tout products and services that less than 10% of the 90 plus million viewers will buy or use.

But those 9 million people will spend a lot of bucks during the course of a year.

I actually enjoy watching good commercials. At times they are better than some of the programming on the boob tube. Supposedly the best commercials of the year will debut on Super Bowl Sunday. Mad Avenue has been working overtime and charging the advertisers top dollars to produce the best Super Bowl commercial.

Now the question is; who is paying for all this nonsense. As Gomer Pyle would say; surprise – surprise, it must be the consumer.

I’m against having Beer, Liquor and Tobacco commercials on television.

Why? Because I use these products and it will ultimately cost me more money to use them. The cost of these commercials is always passed on to the user. The Corporations don’t spend advertising money to lose money. So I must, therefore, avoid the use of these products that are advertised on Super Bowl Sunday. It's simple logic, just ask Mr. Spock.

Are you going to switch from Coke to Pepsi because of a good commercial? Will you buy a Pizza from Pizza Hut rather than Dominos because of a commercial? Will you switch from your favorite brands because you were amused for 30 seconds? I hope not.

I believe that the advertisers deem that we are all just sheep, and we will follow in the direction into which they lead us. That is, if they spend 2.7 million dollars for a 30 second commercial that amuses us or somehow gives us a warm fuzzy feeling.

It’s a bunch of Bullshit!

All television commercials cost consumers money in the long run.

I will watch and enjoy many of the commercials aired during the Super Bowl.

But I will also boycott all the products and services that are advertised on the Super Bowl.

By the way I will be cheering for the Patriots to win!

The Beach Bum

Use my Link to Amazon

For your on-line shopping convenience there is a link to Amazon.com on the right sidebar of this Blog. They are offering FREE shipping on many of the “for sale” treasures on their site and have competitive pricing on a large variety of gift items. Check them out!

The best part is that I get at least a four percent commission from Amazon on the items that you purchase when linking to them from my Blog.

Happy Shopping!

The Beach Bum.

Ernie

Today I read that there was a movie on the Hallmark Channel called “A Grandpa for Christmas”. It will be repeated again on the 30th of November. The review stated “A cheerful if woefully predictable holiday yarn that weaves in a couple of musical numbers and plenty of caroling to flesh out its 85 minutes, "A Grandpa for Christmas" is a true throwback, leading a wave of Hallmark Channel fare clearly designed to fill a niche the major networks have mostly abandoned.”

The Hallmark Channel is not one of the channels that I watch n a regular basis. Why? Please note that the movie run-time is 85 minutes. When placed in a 2 hour time slot this means 35 minutes of commercials or 17.5 minutes of commercials per hour. Considering that the first 20 minutes of the movie are usually commercial free, this leaves us with 35 minutes of commercials in 100 minutes (35% commercials and 65% movie). This means that there will be 7 minutes of commercials and 13 minutes of movie for every 20 minutes of programming.

As unbelievable as it may seem, I still would like to see this movie. It’s about children and old people, two of my favorite topics. But the main reason is the star of the movie; Ernest Borgnine. I didn’t even realize that he was still alive and still acting. This is ironic because I watched one of his earliest movies on TCM last night (From Here to Eternity) and wondered if he was still living.

My favorite Borgnine role was that of Quinton McHale on television. McHale’s Navy was one of the funniest programs in the early 1960’s. The crew of the PT-73 was a bunch of misfits that always came through in the end. The supporting cast was great; especially Tim Conway and Joe Flynn.

As bad as the review of “A Grandpa for Christmas" was and given the fact that it will be inundated with commercials, I will still be watching it this coming Friday. Just to see Ernie in what might be his final role.

The Beach Bum

TV Commercials

I spent an inordinate amount of my time on the telephone yesterday afternoon. I spoke to two of my children, my Cable company (Bright House), an old friend from Chicago, GEICO automobile insurance, my former boss and a friend here in Florida. I usually do not spend this much time on the telephone. But I had some issues that needed to be resolved before going to my daughter’s house again, for another dog sitting assignment.

During most of the time on the phone I was also watching the Devil Rays being slaughtered by the LA Angels. Lo and Behold while I am on the phone with GEICO, up pops the GEICO Gecko on the television screen. Is this just coincidence or happenstance? I don’t know. I remember when the Gecko made his debut some years ago. Originally these were silly but good commercials. Now he has an Aussie accent and they have taken him to a level of incompetence via the “Peter Principle”. GEICO’s “Cave Man” commercials are even worse than their Gecko commercials. I would strongly suggest that GEICO change Ad Agencies.

As I have said before in my blogs, I like some commercials and occasionally enjoy watching them more than some of the network programs. However, with the exception of Miller Lite beer, a television commercial has never affected any of my purchases. When I decided that I needed to switch to a light beer (I had been drinking ales and Canadian beers) it was the Miller commercials that made me try their brand first. The beer is as they say “less filling”, but I don’t agree about the “tastes great” part.

I’ve been set in my ways and purchasing habits for over 25 years. I’ve been using the same bar soap, the same toilet tissue, the same shampoo, the same laundry detergent etc. etc. from the time that Jimmy Carter was our President. What I am trying to say is that no matter how good a television commercial or magazine advertisement is, it will not change my buying habits. My Mom and Dad were the same way with there purchases; as I do, they bought the same old stuff. You find something that you like and you stick with it. If a new and improved product comes to the marketplace you can bet that the product that you are currently using will soon be new and improved.

The Beach Bum