Making a Short Story Long

Once again my wife is visiting my daughter’s domicile. This means that the main television stays tuned to news or talk shows during most of the day. Of course there are exceptions; American Idol, Soap Operas and Hollywood gossip programming. This doesn’t bother me because I have my own television in my office (AKA “The Shed”).

Yesterday on one of my frequent trips to the bathroom I noticed that Secretary of State Hillary Clinton was on the television talking about Mexico. The day before I had read some of her comments and just shook my head in disbelief. She was blaming the American’s “insatiable appetite for drugs” for problems that the Mexican Government is currently facing.

Being the idiot that I am, I couldn’t resist making a comment as I was heading out of the room to go back to the shed. I should have known better than to open the flood gates of repartee with the wife. We occasionally exchange pleasantries and talk about our children, but other than that I usually refrain from having more than a two minute conversation with her.

My comment was that I couldn’t stand Hillary years ago and that I like her even less today (actually the words I spoke were not that nice, therefore no quotation marks).

The wife asked if I knew her when I was still living in Maryland. I curtly answered no, attempting to end the conversation. She quickly asks (before I could get out of the door) me, how did I know her years ago. Now I’m trapped. I have to relate the story of my meeting Hillary Rodham (Clinton) when I was a teen in Chicago.

The story should have taken 2 to 4 minutes to tell. But nooooo! Telling a story to my wife is like being interviewed by Mike Wallace; many questions in between each uttered passage.

Now here’s the story. In parenthesis are the wife’s interrogatives followed by a hyphen and then my answers to her questions.

I met her in November 1960 (Did she go to your school? – No she lived on the North side), (How did you know that she lived on the North Side? – By the way she was dressed), (How was she dressed? – She was wearing a Parka and Ski Pants), (What color was the Parka? - I believe that it was light blue), (But what made you think that she was from the North side? – Girls in our neighborhood wore regular winter coats, skirts and leggings, may I please finish the story).

It was a Saturday (How do you remember that it was a Saturday? – I was not in school at eleven in the morning and answered the door), (Well then, it could have been a Sunday – No my sister would have been in Church at 11am and she was home watching cartoons on the television), (Are you sure about the time? – Yes, give or take 10 minutes, I was eating lunch at the time; now can I continue the story).

There was a knock at the door, I answered and there stood this young girl with a clip board in her hand. (How old was she? – Hell I don’t know, a few years younger than me). She asked me if my parents were at home. I answered that my mom was home and that my dad would be home in about 45 minutes. I closed the door (That was rude, why didn’t you invite her in? – She wasn’t sexually attractive, she looked like a frumpy wingless Cherub), (I wonder what she thought about you? – I didn’t care).

Without taking a breath I continued my story.

I sat back down and continued to eat my lunch. The knock came again and this time my mother answered the door. The girl told her that she was canvassing the area about the last Presidential Election (Kennedy/Nixon). There seemed to be some concern that Chicago Mayor Richard J Daley had rigged the election (How can a Mayor rig an election? – The same way that Bush won Florida). That shut her (the wife) up.

Our Ward (Chicago’s 22nd) as well as our precinct was falling under close scrutiny by the Cook County Republican Organization. (Why? – Because there were only 8 votes for Nixon in our Precinct and Kennedy carried the Ward by 94%), (I can see why they were concerned – Not if you knew the neighborhood; predominately Catholic and Democrats, we didn’t even have a Republican Precinct Captain).

That’s when I first met Hillary Clinton and decided that I didn’t like her (How did you know that it was Hillary that knocked on your door? – As you well know, I never forget faces, names maybe, but never faces), (When did you realize that it was her? – When Bill Clinton was running for President and I saw her on television; I was watching the news with the then current “love of my life” and exclaimed “I know that broad”), (You’re crass – Thank you, I going to the shed).

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!

The Beach Bum

Analysis Of A Speech

My friend Loopy (Paul) has decided that he needed to add an addendum to his Guest Blog that was posted yesterday. As I have said before, for an Old Fart he is still as sharp as a needle.

Loopy's Addendum:

When listening to a speaker, what do you hear? Do you hear the words behind the words? Politicians in particular have a case to make for or against a subject, a political position, or a pending piece of legislation. They must bring as many of their listeners to an acceptance and, hopefully, a belief in their position. How do they do this and how do we, the public, evaluate intelligently what they are saying?

The following steps were part of my college class taught by that wonderful professor whose name I still can't remember. These questions should be asked and answered by each listener.

Analysis of a Speech

1. Does the speaker show two-valued or multi-valued orientation?
In other words, is the speaker using a plus/minus, good/bad, orientation in the speech or are there layers within the speech that span an entire spectrum of thought and ideas.

2. Are facts presented? Are they slanted?
This point speaks for itself. If facts are presented, does the speaker use loaded words to twist the facts to support his position or tear down his opponent's position?

3. Is the language directive or informative?
Are you as a listener being verbally pushed into accepting a position that you would normally not accept?

4. What are the goals of the speaker?
Know the background of the issues and the speaker. What does he have to gain or lose by his style of presentation?

5. How many devices of propaganda does he use?
This takes you back to the previous blog where the devices of propaganda are discussed.

6. What is the context of the language?
Is it physical or verbal?

7. What will be the consequence?
The end result of acceptance or rejection of the position of the speaker.

8. Does he distinguish between observation, inferences and judgment?
The difference between what is truth, what he thinks is truth, and what he wants truth to be.

9. Where is he on the abstraction ladder?
As explained by that great semantician, Dr. S. I. Hiyakawa. Does he speak about the herd or does he bring the abstractions down to the level of cow number one and cow number two?

10. What words used in the speech need definition?
Does the speaker misuse these words? Don't be afraid to look up words used in the speech that you don't understand.

These are all little tricks to enable the average person to feel a sense of empowerment in their ability to choose who to accept or reject in the world of politics, business, and especially in our current environment of economic chaos. When the leaders of the big banks, insurance companies, investment firms, and multi-level conglomerates issue statements about their strength, safety, future plans, and past history, make sure that you understand what they are actually saying. This way you may also gain an understanding of what they've done.

Posted by Loopy

What Are They Saying?

My Second Guest Blogger (Paul) is also a friend from the time that I spent in East Africa. I didn’t know him that well when I was stationed a Kagnew Station; we probably shared cocktails together 3 or 4 times. I was a new guy and he was a short timer, getting ready to ship out. I liked him because of his comical exploits, his intelligence and his razor sharp wit.

So without further ado, here is Paul’s Blog:

Whenever I hear a politician speak, I always flash back to my much, much younger days. While attending Phoenix College back in the very early '60s,I had the good fortune to sign up for a class taught by a wonderful instructor whose name I can't even begin to dredge from my memory.

While I cannot remember his name, I remember some of the things he taught me, such as how to analyze a speech and how to recognize and utilize the various elements of propaganda.

These are important things to learn, use, and pass on to our offspring as they are most likely not taught in this decade's schools. Since I still have my little notebook wherein I have written and saved treasured tidbits of information, poetry, paragraphs from loved books, and my own thoughts and ideas, I would like to share these elements of propaganda with you. My teacher gave great credit to Miller & Minsky, Copy 1937, for these gems. Perhaps we can cover the salient points to remember and practice in analyzing a speech at a later time.

1. Name Calling is used to condemn a person, a company, a religion, a country, or a race, etc. Have we ever seen this in the news?
2. Glittering Generalities are used to build up a person, a political party, or any other entity. This is sort of the opposite of Name Calling.
3. Devices of Transfer use the name of something good, honored or revered to build up something that is less than savory. It is also called Symbolism.
4. Testimonial Devices are selected phrases to build up or tear down the status or reputation of someone or something. Examples are what the right wing pundits are using on President Obama right now by their stressing the word "socialism" as it applies to his efforts to rein in corporate greed and abuse. Link the negative term to someone long enough and often enough and many of the easily led will begin to believe it to be the truth.
5. Plain Folk Devices involve changing the language and bringing the usage of words down to the level of the intended audience. In other words, using simpler and smaller words to an audience of a lower educational level or using regional jargon in those areas of the country where it is a part of normal discourse.
6. Band Wagon is the practice of misrepresenting the truth in an effort to achieve a particular political or business goal. We hear this daily on the news and in the newspapers where an individual only tells one side of an issue as if it were a fact. This was most apparent in the recent presidential campaign.

All of these items have been in my mind throughout the recent election and its aftermath. Just because I use these things to help me make decisions on issues and candidates doesn't make me any more intelligent than anyone else. It does help me to cast what I hope is a well thought out vote in an election and it does help me to decide which news programs or news people I will no longer watch or read.

I have decided to continue to read The Beach Bum Report.

Posted by Loopy (Paul) Guest Blogger #2

A Liberal's Viewpoint

I know that the insurance industry won't like the idea that they'll have to bid competitively to continue offering Medicare coverage, but that's how we'll help preserve and protect Medicare and lower health care costs for American families. I know that banks and big student lenders won't like the idea that we're ending their huge taxpayer subsidies, but that's how we'll save taxpayers nearly $50 billion and make college more affordable. I know that oil and gas companies won't like us ending nearly $30 billion in tax breaks, but that's how we'll help fund a renewable energy economy that will create new jobs and new industries. I know these steps won't sit well with the special interests and lobbyists who are invested in the old way of doing business, and I know they're gearing up for a fight as we speak. My message to them is this: “So am I.”

This is beautiful framing of the issue. His statements decry subsidies for banks and tax cuts for the oil companies.

When the Republicans try to oppose Obama's agenda, they become allies of the greedy few. When the Republicans drag out the "S" word, Socialism, people don't know what it is and don't seem to care anymore. Their brand is so discredited, that if they say something is bad, then it must be good. When they cry "Class Warfare" the people say, well it's about time we fought back. The rich have been waging class warfare against us for decades.

Obama's words sound tough, but it may not be that tough a fight. The party of the Lords and Barons and their benefactors in industry are bordering on looking anti American.

In "The Shock Doctrine" Naomi Klein demonstrates how authoritarian governments cause or exploit a crisis to transfer power and wealth to the rich and powerful. Obama is turning the Shock Doctrine on it’s head by using this crisis to take away the power of the moneyed few, and returning it to the working class. The moneyed few won't be hurt; he's just returning our tax system back to where it was in the 90's. We did very well back then and so did the rich.

Posted by Alfredo (Guest Blogger #1)

Up In Smoke

The other day my daughter asked me what I was going to do when cigarettes go up on April first. I believe that she was hoping that I’d say that I was going to quit smoking.

The Federal Government has added an additional sixty-two cents per pack in taxes. Actually it will come to sixty-six cents after adding the Florida State Retail Sales Tax. This is one thing that I never really understood; how can a State Government tax a Federal tax? Some Counties and Municipal Governments also so do this; so you end up paying a tax on a tax on a tax.

The Government claims that they have raised the cigarette tax, partly to discourage young people from smoking. This is a good idea. I’ve been a smoker for more than forty years and I tell young people to stay away from cigarettes. Some of them call me a hypocrite because I continue to smoke. My retort is “Don’t end up like me.”

I’ve tried, several times, to quit and had actually gone nearly nine months smoke free. I’ve used the nicotine chewing gum (which burned my gums and tongue) and the patch and I still craved cigarettes. The doctors said that I have a psychological addition rather than a nicotine addiction. I think that I have both. But I have noticed that I crave cigarettes more when I do certain things.

Why did I start in the first place? When I was young, it was in the vogue to smoke. Several of the best radio and television programs (in the 50’s and 60’s) were sponsored by cigarette companies. Most of my favorite movie and television stars smoked; John Wayne, Humphrey Bogart, etc. Even the stars that didn’t smoke pretended to smoke in the movies. This made smoking a lot more attractive than just simple peer pressure telling me that it was cool to smoke.

Then, when I joined the Army, in the mid 1960’s, I was encouraged to smoke by the cadre (“Take 10 and light them up if you have them”). We also received a free four pack of cigarettes in every box of C or K rations. In the PX (Post Exchange) cigarettes cost 20 cents per pack or $1.80 per carton. They were even less expensive overseas where you could buy them (Tax and Duty Free) for $1.05 per carton in the PX and for under a dollar in the commissary.

As far as I know, the US Military is part of the Federal Government (DOD). Therefore the Federal Government promoted the smoking of cigarettes, even though studies existed that linked cigarette smoking to cancer and lung disease (there were even warning on the packs when I was stationed overseas). The Government encouraged me to smoke and now they are taxing me (more and more) for my mistake of listening to them.

In 1970, the following message began to appear on cigarette packs; Warning, The Surgeon General Has Determined that Cigarette Smoking is Dangerous to Your Health.
I was still buying cigarettes in the PX at Fort Meade for $2.75 per carton at this time.

In my opinion, any Federal Tax on cigarettes should not be paid by military veterans who continue to smoke.

Also, I recall President Obama’s campaign rhetoric saying that there would be no new taxes on the middle class. The majority of smokers are either in the middle class or close to the poverty level (Social Security or pension). Senior (62 and older) smokers should also get a tax exemption on any Federal Cigarette Tax (past, present and future).

If we are taxing cigarettes (at the Federal level) because they are hazardous to our health, why don’t we also tax Fast Food equally? Trans fat and Cholesterol are known producers of heart disease.

Now I’m not picking on McDonald’s, but here’s a link to wikipedia’s nutritional breakdown of the Big Mac. Add to this a large order of fries (how can anyone eat a Big Mac without French Fries) and the fat content will almost double.

If President Obama is going to tax the middle and lower income classes he should do it equally!

The Beach Bum

Baseball, Hamburgers and Politics

Last weekend I spoke to a friend and fellow Cubs fan. I hadn’t spoken to him since last October. As always, the first 20 minutes of our conversation centered on the Cubs and Baseball in general. Once the 2009 season begins we will be on the phone nearly once a week.

Then we moved on to health concerns, particularly mine. This lasted for about 3 minutes; he has no major health concerns (except for high cholesterol – he takes Lipitor) and mine are Status Quo.

Finally we moved on to meatier topics. Our new President, the Bailouts, the Economy and Hamburgers.

This part of the conversation began with Hamburgers. I asked him if he remembered the name of a certain restaurant in Melrose Park that served the best burgers that I have ever eaten. When I lived Berwyn in the early 1980’s I would take my girlfriend there at least once every ten days.

I began to describe the Restaurant and within seconds he said “Come Back Inn.” How could I have forgotten? I then asked him if he been there lately and he told me that it was closed several years ago. I said “What? – Why?”

He then asked me if I remember why he moved from Cicero (Cook County) to Downers Grove (DuPage County) in 1990. He had lived on the southwest side of Cicero for 38 years (from birth until 2 months before his 39th Birthday). The house that he bought in Cicero was just two blocks away from his parents’ house. So I said “To be closer to work (the Company that he work for had moved to Schaumburg the year before)?” He laughed and said “Guess again.”

My second guess was lower taxes. Wrong again! “OK I give up.”

He answered “The demographics (in Cicero) were rapidly changing, the crime rate was swiftly rising and the Democrats were outnumbering the Republicans (Cicero and neighboring Berwyn had always been a stronghold for the Cook County Republican Party). The same thing happened in Melrose Park, but at least the criminals there spoke a version of the English language; when they asked you for your wallet, you understood what they were saying and didn’t get knifed or shot.” Now it was my turn to laugh.

Next, I said “I guess that you’re not happy with the outcome of the last election.” He then said “What do you mean, I voted for Obama.” For a few seconds I was thunderstruck. All that I could say was wow. After the shock wore off, I asked him why?

He gave me the same reasons that other Chicago suburban area lifelong Republicans had given me.

For that one moment, they put aside the bigotry that they were taught (as I was) as children. They voted with their minds rather than their hearts. I hope that President Obama proves their decisions to be right.

The Beach Bum

A Possible Answer to Our Financial Woes

In November I wrote a Blog titled “A Possible Solution”.

I was attempting to be facetious when I wrote it. In fact, one of my labels was – Just for Laughs. It was about the bailouts and other possible solutions rather than giving our tax dollars to incompetent CEO’s and the irresponsible individuals that got us into our current financial crisis.

While catching up on my viewing of editorial cartoons this morning (on the Chicago Tribune online site), I ran across one from January 15th. I couldn’t stop laughing.

The author of the cartoon was Pulitzer Prize winning editorial cartoonist Signe Wilkinson now part of the Washington Post Writers Group. She also does a daily comic strip named Family Tree which I read online. Following in the footsteps of another editorial cartoonist, David Wiley Miller (who signs his strip Non Seqiutur - Wiley), she signs both her editorial cartoons and daily strips - Signe.

Signe must have read my aforementioned Blog or at lease someone told her about it. I can dream, can’t I?

I snatched the following from the Chicago Tribune Website (Click on it to enlarge):



The Beach Bum

Mister Knows Most of It

The third love of my life (aka my wife) is currently here visiting her daughter and tormenting me. I guess that I was not a good boy last year and “that invisible man in the sky” has decided to punish me.

But I will admit that she does have her moments. The other day asked two questions about the Presidential Inauguration. Why was held in January, when the weather is so miserable in Washington D.C. and why Inauguration Day wasn’t a National Holiday (so that more people could attend or watch it on television).

Being a “Mister Knows Most of It”, like my friend Richard Feder, I gave a snappy reply. She bought my answers; they made sense, whether they were correct or incorrect. That’s the good part about being a “Mister Knows Most of It”, if you are right 75% of the time, people tend to believe you are right the other 25% when you don’t know Jack about the topic. The quicker you answer, the more believable you become.

In a telephone conversation with Mr. Feder (he’s right 75% of the time and answers quickly) last night we discussed the issue of the January Inauguration. We both knew that Inauguration Day had been in March and that it was changed to January in the Twentieth Century. Feder then tells me that it was change to lessen the transition time between Presidents. This made sense – so I bought his answer.

My next question was is why we hold our elections on the first Tuesday in November? He answered that it was because of the Farmers (at that time we were primarily an agrarian society). He also informed me that it isn’t always on the first Tuesday (if the first Tuesday falls on November first - All Saints Day – all of the farmers would be in Church rather that at the polls). Feder is usually 75% correct so I believed this without looking it up.

Here is my proposition. If after one year Barack Obama is doing a good job and has a high approval rating, we should change the dates of the General Election and Presidential Inauguration. I believe it will take a Constitutional Amendment to do so. We change Election Day to the first Tuesday in April and Inaugural Day to June 20th.

Why did I choose these dates?

First, it will remind the voters of their tax obligation and what the current President has done to relieve their burden. And the day before the Summer Solstice is usually a nice day.

The Beach Bum

Political Infomercials - What Next?

The Tampa Bay Rays lost the MLB World Series last night. It was a continuation of the Tuesday night suspended game. I would have liked to have seen them win and bring the games back down to Tropicana Field.

But that’s not what this Blog is about.

Before the game last night there was a Barack Obama infomercial on Fox and several other networks. As a general rule I do not watch television news, talk shows or Presidential Debates. I’m one of those old fogies who prefer to read the news or the transcripts of talk shows and debates.

Last night I made an exception to the general rule. The people that put this together for Obama did a superb job. I was impressed with the production quality, the message (although it was somewhat depressing) and Barrack’s oratorical abilities.

Senator Obama didn’t directly address the issues, but he made it clear in which direction he would be heading if elected President. He was telling us about the problems but offered no direct solutions.

The infomercial was geared towards the middle class common man. The underlying message was that he was a man of the people and that he would work for the people. I’ve heard this message before. The one time that I believed the message was when a young Democratic Senator from Massachusetts told us that it was a time for change, a time to give America back to the people.

He tried and look what happened to him. Every time that I think about John F. Kennedy, I cry, which I am doing as I finish this Blog.

The Beach Bum

Sticking to the Script

From Dana Bash of CNN:
“Some aides to Sen. John McCain say they weren't happy that running mate Sarah Palin went off script Sunday and turned attention back to the controversy over her wardrobe.”

The key words in the above statement are “went off script”.

Bravo, Sarah, Bravo! Saying what you are not supposed to say and doing what you are supposed to do, make you a real person. I like real people that don’t hide behind a façade.

But, Sarah, you must realize, by now, that honest politicians do not get elected; that is why your comments are well scripted by the political spin doctors. The higher up that you are on the political food chain the more you must lie to the public (well, maybe not in Alaska).

The American people expect their politicians to lie to them. The truth often hurts them. It’s better to be in a euphoric state of mind, with hope for the future, than in an abysmal state of mind with no optimism at all. That is human nature. Even pessimists, like me, always have a little hope in the back of their minds.

In most instances we do not believe the politician’s lies. But we want to believe. Because the lies make us feel better and give hope for our future. In this way politics is very much like religion. If I believe that God (this invisible man – living in the sky) is up there looking out for my well being, why shouldn’t I believe that the person that I voted for will also take an interest in my needs. After all isn’t that the reason that I cast my vote for him or her; it was to benefit me, my friends, associates and family. I’m not an altruist!

Unfortunately is just doesn’t work that way. Candidates are elected on what their staff scripts them to tell the voters. There is an excellent Robert Redford movie from the 1970’s called “The Candidate” concerning this subject. Also the “Making of the President” series by Theodore H. White is very informing about our political process of electing the President.

(And now for a Paid Announcement:
Both the aforementioned movie and books are available on Amazon.com, a link has been provided on the right sidebar, just scroll up to the top of the Blog).

The bottom line is that I like Sarah Palin for her candor and her humorous anecdotes. But she is not a true politician. That can be scary when you think that if she is elected as Vice-President, she is just a heartbeat away from the Presidency.

The Beach Bum

Election 2008 - Bring Out Your Dead

With the Presidential Election just 10 days away, a composite of 10 major Polls shows that Senator Obama is leading Senator McCain by 7.5%

In 1984 Chicago Newspaper columnist Mike Royko suggested that people should lie to the media about who they voted for in television sponsored exit polls. There was sound reasoning behind Royko’s promoting this activity. The television media was calling a candidate a winner before the polls closed. This prevented people who would normally vote, to not vote. Either their preferred candidate was declared a winner or was out of contention; so why bother to vote?

Long before Mike Royko, lying to pollsters was advocated by King Richard I (Richard J Daley – Mayor of Chicago for Life) in the 1960’s. Of course, he didn’t put it in writing or say it to the media. Daley instead passed the word down to the Democratic Aldermen and Precinct Captains. But King Richard I took it one step further; you were advised to also lie in any pre-election polls. This was part of the Daley Machine’s Political strategy.

The Chicago voter turnout has always been far above the National average. It has been purported, but not proven, that even terminally ill registered voters and recently deceased voters (as long as they were registered Democrats) have voted in past elections.

King Richard I also strongly suggested who you should vote for in the elections. As a general rule it was a straight Democratic Party ticket. You would get a hand delivered sample ballot from your precinct Captain or one of his minions. They would then place an X next to the preferred candidate’s name.

In 1968, the first presidential election in which I was allow to vote (the law was 21 years old or older at that time), there was no X next to any of the presidential candidate’s name. However there was an X next to Republican Senator Everett Dirksen’s (from down State Illinois) name as well as Republican Gubernatorial candidate Richard Ogilvie’s (the Cook County Sheriff) name.

Although he publicly endorsed Hubert H. Humphrey as well as all the Democratic Party candidates, King Richard I let his people know who he preferred in the 1968 election. Nixon won Illinois because Daley did not particularly like Humphrey. Dirksen would have probably won without Daley’s support, just by a smaller margin. And Ogilvie became the Governor of Illinois due to Daley’s surreptitious support.

I knew a Black Baptist Minister whose Church was in the Woodlawn neighborhood of Chicago. He was also a Democratic Precinct Captain in his ward. He fervently disliked King Richard I, and told me that he was the most bigoted man that he had ever met. I queried as to why he worked for him. His answer was that “he was good for the City and that regardless of his prejudice he took care of the people in Woodlawn.”

Now there is King Richard II (Richard M. Daley – the current Mare of Chicago). He’s a couple years older than I am. He was raised by a bigoted father and grew up in the Irish Catholic neighborhood of Bridgeport. As I had been, he was taught that Black people were to be tolerated, but not respected or trusted.

Has King Richard II learned to put aside his childhood training, values and beliefs? I doubt it! The apple does not fall far from the tree.

If the new Daley Machine works like the old Daley Machine; you will see many white Democrat voters in Chicago voting for John McCain. But they’ll be telling the Pollsters that they are supporting Obama.

In the polls, Illinois is listed as an Obama state, but it also was listed as a Humphrey state in 1968.

The Beach Bum

A Tale of Two Plumbers

Joe the Plumber is still in the news, I can’t believe it. Sarah Palin brought up his name in a CCN interview yesterday, saying that Joe basically called Barack Obama a socialist. I won’t go on about Palin’s comments because most were inane.

Joe The Plumber gained repute when he attended an Obama rally, in Ohio, a few weeks ago. He asked Senator Obama about the “Share the Wealth” plan that he is proposing, which would put a greater tax burden on those who were earning more that $250,000 per year. He said that he was planning to purchase the Plumbing Company for which he worked.

The McCain people jumped on this immediately. In the third Presidential Debate, John McCain brings his name up to show the plight of middle class people who are trying to achieve the American Dream. Joe then becomes an instant celebrity.

But with celebrity comes press coverage. The press discovers that neither he nor his boss has a Plumbing License. OOPS! A lot of good plumbers do not have licenses, but in most cases the person that they work for (a Master Plumber) does. Or at least someone in the company has a license and it is usually the owner.

That’s it for Joe the Plumber story.

I’ve known several plumbers in my lifetime. None of them even came even close to making $250,000 per annum. If they worked for a large company, the owner probably did.

Let’s talk about Mike the Plumber. Mike is a journeyman plumber here in Florida.

In 2005, his net paycheck was somewhere in the neighborhood of $2000 per week, not too shabby. But out of this net came the expenses of gasoline and parts. If he did 4 or 5 small jobs per day he could easily burn up a tank (22 gallons) of gas each day. He took all of the work that he could get, usually working a 6 day 60 hour week. He also did side jobs for friends at a minimal profit.

Mike and his wife wanted the American Dream. He wanted his Master Plumbers license, so that he could stop working for others that were paying him only 35% of the labor and service charge that he billed the customers. But he had little time to study for the exam.

He also wanted home ownership; he and his wife were tired of throwing their money away paying rent. Unfortunately what they wanted (in a home) was out of their price range in the county where he worked. So they purchased a house 60 miles away from the area where he did most of his work.

At the same time gas prices went from $1.97 to $2.47 per gallon. And then 3 months later it jumped to $2.79 per gallon. When he did the small jobs (mostly drain cleaning and leak stopping), his net after gas expense was now about $25 per job. Mike the Plumber was now making less than $1200 net per week. His wife took a part-time job so that they could just barely make ends meet. They also used credit cards to buy items for which they were accustomed to paying cash.

In 2007 when gas prices began to soar, Mike the Plumber found that he was doing the small jobs for no income, or even worse it would cost him money to do the job. At the same time the larger jobs began to dry up (people were not spending money on remodeling their bathrooms or replacing items that didn’t really need replacing). He was now making about $1500 less per month than what was required to sustain the payment of his bills.

Naturally he became despondent.

Mike the Plumber is now studying for his Master Plumber’s exam and hopes to have his license soon. He is also going to church, reading the Bible and praying, something that he hadn’t done since he was a child.

The Beach Bum

It Makes Me Want To Puke

Today the House passed the 700 Billion Dollar Bailout bill; I am appalled but not surprised. Several pork barrel items were added to the bill; again I am appalled but not surprised. This is normal politics, politics at its worst.

My first question is: how does this bill help the Average Joe? You know - the person who is out there busting his bottom to try to make ends meet in this bad economy. My second question is; will the individuals that caused this problem get their just desserts?

Who pays for this bailout and who benefits?

My family and friends will seemingly not benefit. They will end up on the paying end of the stick. If I took an unscientific poll of the 100 or so people that are in my email address book, I would imagine the majority, if not all, of them will not be benefiting from the bailout. I guess it just matters on whom you have in your address book.

How will this bill help the countless people that are currently going into mortgage foreclosure? The bill helps the banks that hold their mortgages; not them. They got screwed, as usual, not helped. Do you, for one moment, think that any of these people need FDIC coverage over $100,000?

The underlying note was that we must help the Banking Industry to keep our Nation financially stable. To avoid another Great Depression! To avoid a Stock Market crash!

I have no pension and I never wisely invested in a 401K plan. The Stock Market is just legalized gambling. Those who invest should have understood the risks involved. Why should I (or any of us) save their asse(t)s?

Will any of the individuals that benefited, at the cost of a possible financial collapse of the Banks and Stock Market, pay? Extremely doubtful! The system doesn’t work that way! They’ll get off smelling like a Rose, and we (the common man, the middle class, the working person and the Average Joe) will pay for their foibles. That’s how the system works.

Yet, we are voters and we are the people that are responsible for putting individuals in office that do not care about our well being. Think about it and then weep!

Personally, I will not vote for any member of Congress that voted aye for the bailout bill.

The Beach Bum

Equal Pay

After watching the Ballgames yesterday I change channels to TMC in time to catch the ending of the African Queen, ate supper and took a late afternoon nap. When my daughter awakened me, I put the boob tube back on to see if there were any good movies on the commercial free cable channels.

There was nothing worth watching that I hadn’t seen at least 20 times. There are some movies that you can watch 100 times, none of them were on last night. I noticed that there were 5 episodes of House, MD on the USA Network. I’ve seen most of the episodes at least once, but even with all of the commercials they are worth watching a second or third time.

In the first set of commercials, there were two for other USA programs and one PPA (see yesterdays Blog below). The PPA was for Barack Obama. It showed several clips from his speeches and was obviously directed towards women voters. In the AD he repeats twice “Equal pay for equal work”. I am sure that he was targeting Senator McCain’s opposition to Senator Edward Kennedy’s Bill proposal in the Senate last spring.

McCain said “I am all in favor of pay equality for women, but this kind of legislation, as is typical of what’s being proposed by my friends on the other side of the aisle, opens us up to lawsuits for all kinds of problems, this is government playing a much, much greater role in the business of a private enterprise system.” Spoken like a true Republican!

Politically I am what is called a Conservative Liberal. But I do not agree with Kennedy’s proposal. On the other hand, I also do not agree with Senator McCain’s retort.

I do agree with equal pay for equal work. But what does this phrase actually mean?

For example, if I am making widgets and a fellow employee is also making widgets and we are both getting the same amount of pay per hour that is equal pay for equal work. However, if I am making an average of 2 more widgets per day than my fellow employee, shouldn’t I be making more money per hour?

Let’s take this one step further. Let’s say that my fellow employee is a minority or a woman. And that my employer is an Equal Opportunity Employer. A widget making supervisory position becomes available. Although I am more qualified for the position because I can teach the other employees how to make more widgets per hour, the other employee gets the job because of their minority status. The other employee, now my supervisor, is now earning about 50% more then I am earning. Plus has a much easier job than I have.

A year later I still making widgets, but my piece count has improved by 1 more widget per day. A managerial position opens in the front office and my supervisor, who once was my widget making co-employee, gets the job (because upper management needed a minority in the front office) with a hefty increase in pay. This leaves the supervisory position open, but I get passed over again because the company needs a minority supervisor.

Now let’s go into the real world!

I have a friend that was a High School teacher in Maryland. Although he was more qualified, he was passed over twice for an administrative position within the school system. Why? Because they needed a minority person as an administrator. He went on to get his second Masters Degree, this time in Library Science and is now making more money as a College Liberian than he would have as a High School administrator. He sez “there is a way to beat the system if you try.”

Equal pay for equal work is a good idea, but as George Orwell wrote in Animal Farm, “All animals are created equal” but some of them are more equal than others.

The Beach Bum

Mindless Drivel

With the Presidential Election coming in less than 40 days, we are being bombarded with Paid Political Announcements (PPA) on television. I don’t watch a lot of television (except for baseball games) and yet I saw at least a dozen or more yesterday in 8 viewing hours.That is almost as many as the GEICO and AFLAC (I like the Duck but detest the Lizard) commercials that I had seen.












I really don’t see the need for PPA’s. Are we so shallow that we need to be reminded what the candidates stand is for or against any issue? Do we really need Barack to remind us of what John said and vice versa? Even those people that do not read the newspapers know what’s happening from watching television news. Unless you live in a cave (and some my friends claim that I do) you have many television news channels that you can view.

PPA’s are a waste of money. In my opinion most television commercials are insulting to our intelligence and a waste of money. My buying habits (or voting habits) have never changed because I saw a good commercial. But they pay for the programming that I watch and therefore I endure the mindless drivel. What happened to all those good commercial from the 1960’s and 1970’s? I didn’t buy the products, but at least I enjoyed some of the commercials and didn’t feel compelled to leave my chair and go to the Kitchen or Bathroom.

I am The Beach Bum and I approve this message!

Trimming the Fat

A few weeks ago I was planning to write a Blog about the Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac bailouts. I waited because I wanted to see repercussions to what I saw as being a signal to encourage more of the same action in the banking and mortgage industries.

Then the government bails out AIG to the tune of 85 Billion dollars. I was aghast and horrified when I heard this news. What’s next was looming in my mind. I feared that the worst was yet to come. And it has.

Now the Secretary of the Treasury, Henry Paulson (read this as the Bush Administration), wants congress to authorize another 700 Billion dollars to bail out our financial institutions. That is $700,000,000,000.00. Look at all those zeros!

The total cost of the 3 bailouts will exceed 8 Hundred Billion Dollars. It’s mind boggling to say the least. This is more than $250,000 per person living in the United States. Now if you redo this figure to exclude non citizens and people under voting age, it escalates to over $420,000 per person (and this includes the guys who got us into this jam – of course they wouldn’t really need it because they have already raped the system).

Screw the people that created this mess, if there is a spare 800,000,000,000 lying around, give to the people who toil for a living. The people that are trying to make ends meet during these chaotic financial times.

Oh yes, I feel sorry for those that put their financial lives in other's hands. But they did it as a gamble that they would increase their money at a higher than expected return on their investment. Should the people that didn’t follow this path, pay for their mistakes?

The Bush Administration and probably the Congress believes so. According to them, bailing out the Fat Cats is good for the general public (that's you and me). It will save our economy. But I know that the Fat Cats will always get fatter; and the idiots that listen to them will stay lean.


The Beach Bum

Is Paris Burning?

I just watched the Paris Hilton video response to Senator John McCain’s Ad that featured her and Britney Spears as celebrities. It was funny! Either she is smarter than I thought her to be or she hired some good writers. I believe it’s the later.

The video appears on the Comedy Website Funny or Die. This site will probably get more hits today than it has for the past month.

The last time I saw Paris, Hilton that is, in a video was on a bootleg copy of One Night in Paris. She wasn’t acting in that video; she was just doing what comes natural for a 19 year old blonde bimbo playgirl. I’ve seen better films of this nature.

In her latest video she thanks McCain for his endorsement calling him a “white haired dude”. She also shares her views on the energy crisis.

Perhaps Jon Stewart will get her to come on the Daily Show and have her discuss political views.

After the Presidential Election in November we may not be hearing much from Senator McCain. But we’ll always have Paris.

The Beach Bum

NEW TEXAS

Today on the CNN News I heard Presidential hopeful, Republican candidate and most likely the party nominee, John McCain say that there would be no “New Texas” if he was President.

I have no idea what New Texas is, so therefore I Google it. Somewhere down the line it mentions Ron Paul. That in turn links me to several Ron Paul websites. I read some interesting things about Ron Paul. First and foremost is the fact that “According to opensecrets.org, the top three contributors to Republican presidential candidate Ron Paul’s campaign are from the U.S. Army, U.S. Navy and U.S. Air Force respectively.'

“His message of a strong national defense and only going to war with a declaration of war – as mandated by the Constitution – resonates with those who risk their lives to defend that Constitution.”

I like this rhetoric!

But, I still couldn’t find anything about “New Texas”. What the hell is the “New Texas” that McCain is talking about. The closest thing that I could find was Ron Paul’s saying that we should shut down the borders, round up all the illegal Mexicans and send them all back to Mexico. In my opinion this is not a bad idea!

Paul also mentions that the Mexicans want to reclaim parts of Texas, New Mexico, Arizona and California. Maybe this is the "New Texas" that Senator McCain was speaking about.

I never looked at Ron Paul's political platform or House voting record before, but I’m beginning to like the guy. If McCain doesn’t take him as a running mate (which I doubt) he should run as a Libertarian or Independent candidate. He’d get my vote!

The Beach Bum

The Bottom Line

Not that it wasn’t a foregone conclusion, but it appears that the Democratic Presidential Nominee will be either Barack Obama or Hilary Clinton. Therefore I will be either voting for the Republican candidate or an Independent candidate in November.

It’s not that I disagree with their politics (both Hillary and Barrack say that they feel the same as I do on several of this campaign’s major issues). I have a personal problem with both of the Democratic Party’s front runners. This puts me in a quandary; do I vote with my mind or do I vote with my gut feelings.

Personally I do not like Hillary. Do not like is a mild statement, as I detest her. I cannot stand to see her face nor hear her voice. This is a personal thing. My gut feeling tells me that she would be a terrible President. Let’s face it, she is a bitch. I don’t want my grandchildren thinking that our first female President was a real bitch.

As for Barack Obama. I really like some of the things that he has said in his speeches, such as “When we send our young men and women into harm's way, we have a solemn obligation not to fudge the numbers or shade the truth about why they're going, to care for their families while they're gone, to tend to the soldiers upon their return, and to never ever go to war without enough troops to win the war, secure the peace, and earn the respect of the world.”.

Some pundits are equating Barack to John F. Kennedy. And I can see why they do. He is young and is a dynamic speaker. Like JFK he is the voice of the youth of America. But is America ready to accept a Black (albeit half-black) President. I think not, as there are too many bigoted people still living in this country.

Then there is his name (Barack Hussein Obama). Although he is a Christian, it will sound too Islamic for many American voters.

My gut feeling tells me that if he was elected there would be several attempts made on his life. After seeing one President assassinated, in my lifetime, I prefer not to see the lost of another American President.

And as Forrest Gump said “That’s all I have to say about that.”

The Beach Bum

Super Tuesday

Tomorrow is Super Tuesday and we will probably know who the Presidential nominees are for the Presidential Election in November early Wednesday morning..

I friend recently asked me what I thought about the Presidential Primary results thus far. I told him that I was not surprised at the results at this point and would wait until after Super Tuesday before I drew any conclusions. I also told him that if Hilary gets the Democratic nomination this summer, I would probably be voting for the Republican candidate.

He sez “what are you, crazy or something?” “You’re going to vote for that old man!” He obviously assumes that Senator John McCain is going to get the Republican nomination. So I sez; even though I don’t agree with some of his Senate voting record, I like McCain and believe he would be a good President. He reiterates “are you crazy?”

I am registered as an Independent voter. My voting record for Presidential candidates reflects this. I have voted for the Republican candidate 4 times, the Democratic candidate 5 times and Independents twice. The Independent candidates that I voted for had no shot of winning and I knew this; but it was my way of saying that both major party candidates sucked.

I’m really not too concerned about who will be our next President. I am more concerned about the House and Senate races, my State Legislature Candidates and local judicial races.

The Beach Bum