I Read the News Today, Oh Boy.

I usually spend several hours a day reading the on-line editions of the Chicago Tribune, the Washington Post and the Saint Petersburg Times. This is a late breaking story that appears on the Web Edition of today’s Chicago Tribune:
“Prosecutors are seeking to have R. Kelly arrested after he failed to show for a hearing today in his criminal court case after his tour bus was delayed.”

Strange as it may seem, I know who R. Kelly is. My son introduced me to his music last year while he was living with me on Treasure Island.

But this was not the biggest story in today’s Tribune Entertainment section. The hottest story of the day was that Britney Spears' 16 year old sister, Jamie Lynn, is pregnant.

“It was a shock for both of us (boyfriend, Casey), so unexpected," she said. Spears is 12 weeks along and initially kept the news to herself, she told the celebrity magazine, which hits stands in New York on Wednesday and the rest of the country by Friday.

The younger Spears also stated "I definitely don't think it's something you should do; it's better to wait," …. "But I can't be judgmental because it's a position I put myself in."

Their mom says that she cannot believe this happened because Jamie always respected her nighttime curfew. I guess that mom doesn't believe that teenagers would possibly have sex in the morning or afternoon. Before turning 18 years old, I never had sex after 7 PM. I didn't want to break curfew!

Finally we have found someone that makes less sense than Britney. There must be one hell of a bad gene pool in the Spears family. Some men will argue that good looks and no brains equals the perfect lover. Actually I prefer women with brains, but good looks and a shapely body are a bonus.

Jamie Lynn must not have been paying attention during her Sex Education courses in school. It’s very simple, if you want to have a sexual relationship (and which teen doesn’t) you must protect yourself against an unwanted pregnancy. If she wasn’t on the pill, and I assume that she wasn’t, she should have insisted that her boyfriend Casey Aldridge wear a condom while he was knocking bottom.

I don’t enjoy wearing condoms; therefore I had a vasectomy in 1984 to prevent an unwanted pregnancy. At that time, I was having wild sex, with a woman in her prime childbearing years, on a regular basis. She had told me that she did not want children and that she was on the pill. Not that I didn’t believe her, but I didn’t want to take any chances.

(A note to both Britney and Jamie – there is only one way that you can become pregnant) (Also I'm safe)

Also in the Chicago Tribune Entertainment news, and this is a big one; “NBC chose Michael Douglas as the announcer to introduce Brian Williams on the "Nightly News" each night. This is great news and I am sure thousands of Michael's fans will be tuning in to NBC tonight to hear his voice over.

As for all three of the above stories (news items); who the hell cares!


The Beach Bum