Kicking Off the Tourist Season

I spoke to a former co-worker this morning. He’s a bartender at a Restaurant/Nightclub on Treasure Island.


After we exchanged the usual pleasantries, we spoke about the Super Bowl. The conversation centered on how it (being here in Tampa) will effect the bar business. More importantly how it will affect his pocket.

January is generally a slow month for Bars, Restaurants and Motels on the Beach. Although the snowbirds are already there, the tourists don’t start rolling in until mid February. Who wants to go to the Beach when the temperatures are in the fifties to low sixties during the day and in the 40’s at night?

My bartender friend told me that business was better than usual last night – a lot of Steelers’ fans. He also said that they expect to have a busier than normal Friday and Saturday. Pittsburgh fans do like to “drink and party; they just don’t tip that well”. The best case scenario would be the Jets playing the Bears; his team against my team. They drink and tip very well.

I asked him if there were any Cardinal fans on the beach and he said “nope, they are all in Tampa.” He also added that the cocktail waitress and the lap dancers in Tampa will be making a killing this weekend. I said “good for them, they deserve it.” He chuckled and said “Yeah, they’ve been having a bad year due the economy.”

I asked him if he was working on Super Bowl Sunday and he said “Nah, I’m going to a house party in St. Petersburg.” “I’m not going there to watch the game, just the Halftime Show with Springsteen and the Commercials.” I told him that I would be doing the same at home; not watching the game but the Commercials and Springsteen Show.

The Beach Bum

A Possible Answer to Our Financial Woes

In November I wrote a Blog titled “A Possible Solution”.

I was attempting to be facetious when I wrote it. In fact, one of my labels was – Just for Laughs. It was about the bailouts and other possible solutions rather than giving our tax dollars to incompetent CEO’s and the irresponsible individuals that got us into our current financial crisis.

While catching up on my viewing of editorial cartoons this morning (on the Chicago Tribune online site), I ran across one from January 15th. I couldn’t stop laughing.

The author of the cartoon was Pulitzer Prize winning editorial cartoonist Signe Wilkinson now part of the Washington Post Writers Group. She also does a daily comic strip named Family Tree which I read online. Following in the footsteps of another editorial cartoonist, David Wiley Miller (who signs his strip Non Seqiutur - Wiley), she signs both her editorial cartoons and daily strips - Signe.

Signe must have read my aforementioned Blog or at lease someone told her about it. I can dream, can’t I?

I snatched the following from the Chicago Tribune Website (Click on it to enlarge):



The Beach Bum

March Madness in January

In a telephone conversation yesterday, my friend Richard Feder from Fort Lee suggested that I write the following Blog. He also strongly suggested the Blog title (which I used out of deference for him). Thank you, Mister Feder.

Several months ago I was watching the movie “Protocol” with Goldie Hawn. I’ve always liked Goldie even though she married Bill Hudson, a second rate musician, in the mid 1970’s, instead of me (this might have had something to do with the fact that I was married). Nonetheless I enjoy most of her movies.

I always watch the closing credits of a movie. Because the music is usually good and not because I want to know who the Best Boy or Key Grip was. The music for the closing credits of the movie Protocol was a March song that I have heard thousands of times. At least one band in every parade that I have seen has played it. This is my favorite March music.

As I watched the music credits at the end of the movie credits line I did not see the name John Phillip Sousa. I wonder why they would omit this credit. I checked Amazon for a Soundtrack listing for the movie – none available.

So the next day I called my friend Feder (I recalled that he had played in a High School Marching Band in the late 1950’s). I then hummed several passages from the March. He remembered the March even though he said that I had hummed it off key (I should have played it on my Kazoo). I sez “Name that tune” He couldn’t, but he said that he would listen to his albums of Sousa Marches and get back to me.

A few weeks passed and I once again asked him to name that tune. He said that it was not on either of his Sousa Albums. I said “Oh well” and we dropped the subject.

That is until last Tuesday, when I heard two different Marching Bands play it in the Inaugural Day Parade.

Again, I called Feder, last Wednesday and he suggested that I try to get the play lists of the bands that were marching in the parade. I did, to no avail. The result was three hours of Google searches and the watching of many news station videos of the Parade.

This was pure madness; I had to know the name of that March. Why? I don’t know (Third Base), but at this point it was becoming an obsession.

On Thursday, I did even more searching on the internet (listening to sound bytes of more than 60 Sousa Marches) and made a few telephone calls; no luck. By this time it was so bad that I couldn’t fall asleep, I was hearing the March in my head. I had to know the name of that March.

Shortly before one in the morning I was again searching on the internet. Forty five minutes later I found it. I immediately sent Feder an email, knowing that he was in the arms of Morpheus I didn’t dare call him, with a link to the full version of the March.

Feder didn’t get my email because it was stuck in the Postini trash filter (whatever that is). By this time, it (or perhaps I) was driving him to the brink madness. Friday morning, at work, he remembered that a co-worker had been in a Marching Band. He found him and hummed a few bars for him. Voila, in last than 5 seconds the March was named.

The name of the March is National Emblem and it was written by Edwin Eugene Bagley and not John Philip Sousa. There are several videos on Youtube of Marching Bands preforming this March.

The Beach Bum

An Act of Kindness Never Goes Unpaid

The Curmudgeon at the Second Effort Blog has done it again. As he often does, he has evoked vivid memories of my youth. And as often is the case, my response to his Friday Blog would have been too long to post as a comment.

His story is very humorous, but at times it made me cry because it made me reminisce. It starts out with his working a cafeteria while in college. It ends with a moral that we should all pay heed to.

I have eaten in many different school cafeterias (the best food was at the Georgetown University teaching Hospital – no, I wasn’t a student), but I have never worked in one. Most of the food in school cafeterias is very nutritional but lacking in flavor.

The Curmudgeon tells us of his serving food to the other students, some of whom he knew. And what a thankless job it was; nobody acknowledged that they knew him. Subsequent to that experience, he made it a point to make eye contact (with the servers who were serving him) and greet them.

I had learned this lesson many years before he did. I was in a school cafeteria line and trying to decide which entrée to select. I heard a sharp voice boom out at me, “Watcha you waitin’ fo, can’t you see there be a line of students behind you.” I looked up and saw a heavy set Black Women with fire in her eyes. I saw her name tag (initially thinking that I should report her) and I said “Dorothy, I just can’t decide what will upset my stomach the least.” She laughed.

Later I would always go through her line and greet her by name. We would always have a short conversation and she would advise me on what to select (I’m sure that she had tasted everything). Each year I would give Dorothy a Christmas card with five dollars (back then $5 was a lot of money – you could buy a full tank of gasoline and still have some money left over).

Later in his Blog, The Curmudgeon states that he “learned a valuable lesson.” He applies the learned lesson to the beggars, bums and homeless people working the downtown streets of Chicago.

My Dad taught me a valuable lesson about beggars, bums and homeless people when I was 11 or 12 years old.

As we did almost every Sunday, we would walk two blocks to the News Stand to get the Sunday Newspapers. One day, on the way there, a Bum (my Dad called them Panhandlers) approached my Dad and asked for money. My Dad dug into his pocket and gave him three quarters. I was a bit perturbed at this because my allowance was only $1 per week and I had to do a myriad of chores to get it.

Waking back home I asked him why he did it and said that he could have increased my allowance instead. He told me "He needs it more than you do.” He then said that “Jesus smiles down on those that perform acts of charity.” In his lifetime my Dad preformed many acts of charity, including acts of charity to me.

Eight years later I was interning (working for less pay – for doing the same job as my co-workers) at a downtown Chicago Bank. The Bank had a cafeteria but I would usually walk 3 blocks to a Coffee Shop in the building where my girlfriend worked, and we would have lunch together.

One day, a half block away from the Coffee Shop, I was approached by a Bum wearing a raggedy plaid long sleeve shirt (it was August), a Native American, who asked me for a quarter for a cup of coffee (back then you could get a cup of coffee for 15 cents). I told him to come with me and that I would buy him the coffee and a sandwich too. He reluctantly came with me; I’m not sure if it was because of the way that he was dressed or that he rather have had the quarter to buy some cheap wine.

When I walked into the Coffee Shop with him, my girlfriend was already there. Both she and the waitress gave me an icy stare.

After lunch, I walked him out and give him a five dollar bill and said “Now you can get your wine.” His eyes lit up like silver dollars and he thanked me profusely. In return I got a very warm feeling in my heart.

I'll never forget Dorothy or the Bum. Thanks Curmudgeon for rekindling these precious memories.

The Beach Bum

The Pros from Dover

A good friend of mine and sporadic commenter to my Blogs called me yesterday. We generally write voluminous emails to one another, so I was surprised that he called. When I answered I said “Hi Mike, who died?” He just laughed.

My next question was “Why do you do me this honor?”

He had just read my Mister Knows Most of It Blog. He mentioned a conversation that we had in January 1989. “You said the same thing when we attended the Inaugural Ball for George H. W. Bush.” Now it was my turn to laugh. Because it brought back some bittersweet memories.

I was unemployed at the time and Mike (a High School Teacher) had lost his part-time job working for me as a Bartender. My live-in girlfriend (The Love of My Life #7) had left me just before Christmas, after 5 years of having great casual sex (for some silly reason she suddenly wanted more from our relationship).

A business acquaintance, who owned a Restaurant in Annapolis (Maryland), called and asked me if I knew any Bartenders that didn’t work on Friday nights. He was catering one of the many Inaugural Balls and was having a hard time finding enough Bartenders.

I asked him what it paid. He said “only $75 but the tips should be more than $200.” I said “I’ll get back to you.”

I called Mikie and asked him if he would be interested in working a 7 to 8 hour gig for $75 plus tips. I called Ron back and told him that I had 2 Bartenders for him. He asked if they were good. I told him that it was me and my former Service Bartender. He gave me the address and said to be there before 6 on Friday night.

Much to my astonishment we made over $600 each that night – we told Ron that he could keep the $75. Ron called us the Pros from Dover (a reference to the movie M*A*S*H). We laughed.

When we left the Ballroom it was probably 10 degrees outside and we had a three block walk to the car. I said to Mike “Why don’t they hold these things in May or June?" I had forgotten that I had made that statement.

The Beach Bum

Mister Knows Most of It

The third love of my life (aka my wife) is currently here visiting her daughter and tormenting me. I guess that I was not a good boy last year and “that invisible man in the sky” has decided to punish me.

But I will admit that she does have her moments. The other day asked two questions about the Presidential Inauguration. Why was held in January, when the weather is so miserable in Washington D.C. and why Inauguration Day wasn’t a National Holiday (so that more people could attend or watch it on television).

Being a “Mister Knows Most of It”, like my friend Richard Feder, I gave a snappy reply. She bought my answers; they made sense, whether they were correct or incorrect. That’s the good part about being a “Mister Knows Most of It”, if you are right 75% of the time, people tend to believe you are right the other 25% when you don’t know Jack about the topic. The quicker you answer, the more believable you become.

In a telephone conversation with Mr. Feder (he’s right 75% of the time and answers quickly) last night we discussed the issue of the January Inauguration. We both knew that Inauguration Day had been in March and that it was changed to January in the Twentieth Century. Feder then tells me that it was change to lessen the transition time between Presidents. This made sense – so I bought his answer.

My next question was is why we hold our elections on the first Tuesday in November? He answered that it was because of the Farmers (at that time we were primarily an agrarian society). He also informed me that it isn’t always on the first Tuesday (if the first Tuesday falls on November first - All Saints Day – all of the farmers would be in Church rather that at the polls). Feder is usually 75% correct so I believed this without looking it up.

Here is my proposition. If after one year Barack Obama is doing a good job and has a high approval rating, we should change the dates of the General Election and Presidential Inauguration. I believe it will take a Constitutional Amendment to do so. We change Election Day to the first Tuesday in April and Inaugural Day to June 20th.

Why did I choose these dates?

First, it will remind the voters of their tax obligation and what the current President has done to relieve their burden. And the day before the Summer Solstice is usually a nice day.

The Beach Bum

Leave it to Granny

I recently read a story about a couple that lived about four miles from my daughter’s house (where I currently reside). The man is 21 years old, but the article did give the age of his wife.

The article stated that for the past six months, “He and his family (I assume that there is a child involved otherwise they would have written "he and his wife")” had been living in his wife’s grandmother’s home. He was arrested for cultivating Marijuana, after the grandmother called the Police about some “suspicious tomato plants growing in a large box” in her garage. She had gone to check the garage because her electric bills had been “significantly higher” during the past few months.

She must have really hated her grandson-in-law. Either that or she spent her life living in a plastic bubble. Even my Dad, who died in 2004 at the age of 89, knew what a marijuana plant looked like. Ok, let’s say she had bad vision. But why didn’t she go to her granddaughter and ask her why those lights were hanging over the plant box in the garage.

It was a short two paragraph article that could have been developed into a human interest story. But it wasn’t. Why? Because it was drug related.

When I read the short article the two questions that immediately lit up the light bulb in my shallow mind were; why were they living with the grandmother and why were they growing more pot than for personal use?

We are currently in a bad economy. Unemployment is soaring to mind staggering numbers and a great number of people are losing their homes.

Perhaps they were living with Grandma because they had lost their home and their jobs. And to supplement their income and to provide for their child; they grew and sold marijuana.

Who knows?

The staff reporters (no byline) didn’t write about the underlying causes, which they should have. But they like many others – they really don’t care, it’s just a job (and they still have their jobs). They just report the news as they (or their Editors) see fit. It’s all the news that is Print to Fit.

The Beach Bum

I Love Denny Crane - Ergo - I Must Love Myself

I spoke to two friends last night, one was a friend from my days (and nights) spent at Kagnew Station in Asmara, Eritrea and the other was with a young friend (53 years old) who lives in the western Chicago suburbs.

The second conversation consisted of reminiscing about people and events that happened more than 40 years ago. Old Army buddies tend to do that sort of thing. Inevitably the conversation will turn to our current ailments and how nice it was to be young and indestructible. That and the weather are the primary topics of conversation when people over 60 shoot the bull on the phone.

The earlier conversation with my young friend from Chicago was of a different nature. He had called me on Wednesday night, but I didn’t answer the telephone because I was watching Boston Legal on the ION Network and was totally engrossed in the episode. I could have put it on pause on the TIVO, but I didn’t.

I returned his call early last night, as I knew that he would be going to our favorite Forest Park watering hole at 8. We talked about the Chicago Cubs and Baseball in general. He mentioned that he was planning a trip to Florida (Clearwater) in March and that perhaps we can get together during that time.

He then asked me why I didn’t answer his call on Wednesday night.

(Since this is not a verbatim conversation there are no quotation marks).

He Sez – Were you out getting laid?
I Sez – No, I was watching Boston Legal!
He Sez – It’s been cancelled.
I Sez – It’s in syndication on a local channel (Six episodes -in order- per week).
He Sez – I’ve watched it from the beginning, it’s a good show.
I Sez - I didn’t start watching it until 7 or 8 weeks ago. I really like the show, I especially like the William Shatner character Denny Crane.
He Sez – That doesn’t surprise me.
I Sez – Why?
He Sez – Because you are Denny Crane! You like yourself.
I Sez – I’m not wealthy and I’m not a Lawyer.
He Sez – No, but you have all of his other attributes.
I Sez – What do you mean?
He Sez – You’re biased, bigoted, a lecher, a cavorter, a philanderer and a homophobe. You’re over opinionated and you don’t care whose feelings you hurt. However, you never let your friends down and everyone of your friends respect and tolerate you for that reason. That is why you are Denny Crane. And that’s probably why you like yourself.
(After a short pause, while I was thinking of a good comeback).
I Sez – So what do you think about the Cubs chances of going to the World Series this year?

The Beach Bum

I'll Be Back

I’ve finally come to a decision about continuing or not continuing to write the Beach Bum Report.

First let me say that my little experiment in human nature hasn’t gone that well. I have gotten email responses from some of my friends saying that they don’t know 10 people other than our mutual friends (who already read the Blog on a semi regular basis). This is disheartening. And it is indeed a sad commentary.

I have more than 50 names in my new OE address book (created last October); 35 are what I consider to be close friends and 8 are relatives. Granted, I don’t write to them as often as I should. Unless they send me a personal – not forwarded or group – email, I don’t answer unless I have something to say on the topic; which has now become a rarity. I get 50 to 100 emails each day, and I read all of them no matter how inane they may be.

Add to this the fact that I do not type well (I use three fingers and one thumb and have been clocked at the lightning speed of 28 WPM). My mind is usually moving faster than my fingers (and thumb), therefore there is much use of the Backspace key. Plus, as most people that read my Blog know, I tend to be a bit loquacious. It will take me up to 30 minutes to answer a simple email and more than an hour to write a Blog.

That being said I have decided to continue writing the Beach Bum Report. But neither because of the increased traffic (and comments to my Blog) that I have received during the past four days, nor because of the emails that I have received from friends imploring me to continue to write.

But the real reason I decided to carry on is that a fellow Blogger, the Curmudgeon of the Second Effort Blog, took some of his (he’s a Chicago Attorney) valuable time to write about my Blog last Wednesday. As usual, his Blog was very well written. He also wrote a second blog that day titled “Strange Requirements at the Soulless Megabank”.

The Curmudgeon writes about his family and the world around him. He blends humor (sometimes sarcastic), pathos and rationality into his Blogs. At times his Blogs make me laugh and at other times they make me cry. That is a sign of a great writer, and I believe the Curmudgeon is great writer. He’s far better than I will ever be.

The Beach Bum

Exponential Growth - Fishing for Readers

Years ago there was a television commercial (I believe it was for a hair care product) that stated that if you told two people and they told two people and they told two people etc. Shortly the screen was filled with 32 beautiful young women (Models), all with gorgeous hair. Just the thought of that commercial makes me horny.

This is basically the theory of Exponential Growth. The opposite theory is called Exponential Decay. It is taught in an abysmal course of mathematical science called Statistics. At one point in my life I knew the mathematical formula for Exponential Growth, but have long forgotten it. As well I should have.

However I do believe in theory, but with some addendum's, if it is applied to human behavior vurses bacterial behavior (both theorems work when applied to Bacteria, but not to Humans).

But bacteria isn’t cognizant and to some extent humans are – some less than others; which explains why our correctional institutions are busting at the seams.

The 2X2X2X2 theory doesn’t allow for Diminishing Returns. Diminishing Returns is a theory advocated by the British Economist Malthus in the late 1700’s. Nearly two hundred years later, in the 20th Century, The Club of Rome expounded on his theory in a treatise named “Limits to Growth”. Although I do not totally agree with the way Malthus or The Club of Rome applied the theory; it still has some validation when applied to human nature.

For instance, if I email 10 people and ask them to visited my Blog and in turn ask them to invite 10 people who are not in the CC: list of that email to visit my Blog. Then have these 10 people to ask another 10 people to visit my Blog – this equals 1000 potential visitors. Fat chance! Why? Because only 8 of them (at the most) will follow through; Diminishing Returns. And of the possible eight that do, only 6 of their friends will follow through; again diminishing returns. And so on and so on and scooby dooby dooby (my apologies to Sly Stewart).

So here is my proposition to test these theories; let’s call it a test of behavioral science.

To all my 18 semi-regular readers (I had forgotten about Steve from Oregon when I had said that I had only 17 semi-regular readers in a past Blog). You should send the following email to 10 friends and ask them to past it on to 10 of their friends not in the To: or CC:. Who in turn should send it to 10 others on their email lists.

You can copy and paste the following (I will assume that everyone knows how to do this):

I read a Blog titled The Beach Bum Report (http://thebeachbumreport.blogspot.com/) on a semi-regular basis. It’s not a great Blog, but at times it has its moments. I thought that you may find it an interesting read. Read his Blogs and leave a comment (positive or negative) on any of his Blogs. And then pass this message on to ten people not on the To: or CC: list in this email.



This is an experiment in human nature.

Thank you for your (my semi-regular readers) support!

The Beach Bum

Nuts, Hot Nuts, You get them from the Peanut Man

The weekend after Christmas I received a Christmas card from an old friend (Fonse). He had originally sent it to my old address on Treasure Island. The Post Office returned the card to him saying that the time for forwarding mail to my new address had expired. However they included my new address.

If I had sent someone a Christmas card and it was returned to me, I would have put it in the circular file next my desk. But not my friend! He put in a larger envelope and sent it to my new address.

I was touched by this, so I called him. He wasn’t at home so I spoke to his spouse (who used to dislike me with a passion because of a canoeing trip incident in 1981). But two days later, I finally reached him. We spoke for nearly an hour; I have a tendency to get long winded when speaking to people that I haven’t seen or spoken to in a year or so.

In the course of our conversation, he brought up the fact that I hadn’t fulfilled a promise that I had made to him 17 months before. I made the usual excuses, but decided that come hell or high water, I would keep my promise to my old friend.

My friend is a member (of high standing) in the Tau Kappa Epsilon Fraternity. He attended Millikin University (Decatur, Illinois) which has the Beta Chapter of TKE. As he explained to me once; it is a part of the Golden Triangle (original chapters) of Teke Houses in Illinois – Alpha (Illinois Wesleyan – Bloomington), Beta and Gamma (University of Illinois - Urbana) chapters.

The old saying on Illinois campuses, back in the early 1960’s, was “If you can’t go Greek go Teke”.

It has been purported that the film Animal House was based on the activities of the Fraters at the TKE Gamma Chapter. And in that movie the band (Otis Day and the Knights) that played in the Delta Frat House was based on a group called Doug Clark and the Hot Nuts.

And now, at last, I am finally getting to the point of this Blog.

In 1963 I bought a Doug Clark and the Hot Nuts album titled On Campus. It was a collection of bawdy songs that were popular in frat houses throughout the US. We would play it at all of our parties (along with Rusty Warren’s Knockers Up) in the 1960’s. Needless to say the album is scratched very badly.

My good friend Fonse asked me to transfer the songs from my vinyl album to a CD (something I had done for others in the past).

Fonse is still active in the TKE Fraternity system and wanted the younger Tekes to know what it was like to be a Teke in the late 50’s and early 60’s. He wanted them to be able to sing along with him when he sang Barnacle Bill and Roly Poly (Two Old Maids).

Although the Hot Nuts are still an active R&B band, very few college kids know who they are and what they were known for in the 1960’s.

I started the project in July 2007, but put on the back burner when I moved that August. I started working on it again last week and hope to finish soon.

After all, how can you break a promise to an old friend that spent an extra 42 cents (a total of 84 cents) in postage to send you a generic 25 cent Christmas card?

The Beach Bum

To Blog or Not to Blog

My sincerest apologies go out to my 17 semi-regular readers (most of you are either friends or family). Two have sent me emails and one has called me; all three asking me why I haven’t written a Blog since December 9th.

I could answer them by saying it was due to health problems. Both physically and mentally I have been dealing with pain and anguish during the past 4 weeks. “‘Tis the season to be Jolly” is a bunch of horse manure. It seems that (every year) between Thanksgiving and the New Year every ailment that I have reaches its peak for the year. So this would not be an untruth.

Or I could answer them by saying that I have been spending the time that I would usually spend Blogging on the telephone. I get very nostalgic in December. I’ve logged in more hours of phone time in the past 30 days than I had during the prior 11 months. I called an old neighborhood friend who I hadn’t spoken to for over 40 years. I called others that I hadn’t spoken to for nearly 30 years. Two of the people that I attempted to contact had passed on, so I spoke to their wives at lenght. So this would not be an untruth.

Perhaps I could answer them by saying most of the things that I have been writing about lately heightens my state of depression. As much as I try to resist writing about the economy and the sorry state of affairs that our nation is in; I can’t. So this would not be an untruth.

Better yet, I could answer them by saying that I have been spending a lot of my time with a marvelous gift that I received 10 days before Christmas. I am now the proud owner of a DVD set of all 77 of the Amos and Andy Episodes that were originally broadcast in 1952 and 1953. I watch a few episodes every afternoon and I’m about half way through the collection. So this would not be an untruth.

But the real reason is that my Blog has a very limited following; with the exception of 4 semi-regular readers, I can call or email everyone who visits my Blog on a regular basis. I had greater aspirations when I began the Blog. I average 60 visitors per week, most coming from Google searches for Haulover Beach (I have written two Blogs on this subject).
I’m about to delete them so I don’t get the bogus visitors that spend less than 10 seconds on the Blog and leave after they do not see any pictures of naked people.

The people that are regular readers that I may or may not know:

1) Uses an IP from the Headquarters United States Army Information Systems Command
2) Uses an IP from the State of Maryland –Annapolis
3) Uses an IP from New Port Richey Florida

If I know you please leave a comment on this Blog. Even if I don’t, leave a comment.

The 4th is the Curmudgeon from the Second Effort Blog – He writes some great stuff! I visit his Blog often. A link to his blog is on the upper right sidebar.

If you are one of my semi-regular readers please leave a comment as to why I should continue Blogging. If you like my Blog please pass it on to your other friends. Maybe I get some more regular or semi-regular readers.


The Beach Bum